[Fic] Gravity : 11/18
Feb. 16th, 2010 12:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lotus_beautyTitle: Gravity
Author: LotusBeauty
Rating: R to NC-17
Pairings: Min+Su, Min+Kumi
Genre: AU, fantasy, romance/drama/emo (lots of emo)
Summary: Prequel to Feel and Redefine. This arc encompasses Changmin’s past; how he became a vampire and how he and Junsu met.
Notes: You don’t have to read the other two before you read this, but it would probably be a good idea to have some general vampire myths down.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were.
Previous chapters can be found HERE.
Part 11: Glycerine
It took Changmin a little while to notice, but it always seemed like Junsu managed to return right after Kame had hurt him in some way. Whether it was for his own pleasure, or taking out his anger on Changmin, Junsu would promptly show up soon after to let Changmin talk to him if he needed. He didn’t show up every time and most of the time, Changmin didn’t need to talk about what happened, but having someone there to understand was appreciated. He had a feeling Junsu would get a vision and come back when it came to him. It wasn’t too often since Junsu’s treks would have him gone for weeks at a time, and his stays in the coven ranged in time as well. Once, Changmin even got to console Junsu for ending up with a sore shoulder when he returned once after having gotten caught in a bar brawl before he slipped out and to the coven.
Keeping their feelings from Kame proved to be easier than they thought, but they were still cautious. Letting their guard down would only get them into trouble. Changmin acted like he couldn’t decide between Kame and Junsu, while Junsu flirted with everyone, especially Kumi, though spent most of his time with Kumi and Changmin. He did make friends, so to speak, with other vampires in the coven, and Changmin was relieved to find they were vampires he knew to be much more genuine than others.
Mostly, Changmin just liked being with Junsu, because it made him happy. Though he feared losing what they had together, it only drove them to keep the relationship safe. It was frightening to know once he’d gotten a taste, he couldn’t let it go. But he knew Junsu was worth it.
Currently, Junsu wasn’t in the coven, and Changmin didn’t know when he was due back, but he was content all the same. Every year or two, Kame would go on a trip for a week or so, somewhere in the world to gorge himself on blood from the humans that lived in the place he chose. Apparently, while Changmin was still human, those few years Kame would give his pet a session that would take him a week to recover from so that he would never know Kame was missing. Once Changmin was a vampire, it was by his fifth year he noticed these trips. Even if the guards watched him like hawks, he looked forward to them. He wouldn’t have to suffer through Kame’s presence if he was gone. Even so, he had to be there to bid Kame farewell when he left.
He didn’t mind the goodbyes. He would act possessive and angry that he was leaving, while Kumi and his newest pet Jin pouted and told Kame to be safe (as if it mattered). Jin had only been a pet to Kame for a handful of months, but in that time, he’d been broken, changed, and learned a lot faster than others. Changmin knew Jin wanted his place and would gladly give it up if Kame wasn’t so amused by their supposed rivalry. Good thing Jin had more fear for him than jealousy.
As Kumi prodded Kame, he promised her that sometime he would take her with him. She’d squealed like a child when he told her that, as Changmin rolled his eyes in annoyance. Lucky bitch. When Kame was finally gone, Kumi hung on Changmin’s arm as they made their way down the corridors and spoke quietly.
“How long has it been?” she asked softly as they stopped before her chambers. “Since he got here?”
Changmin squinted his eyes as he looked to the ceiling. “About a year I believe.”
“You failed,” Kumi told him with a grin threatening to surface.
“What do you mean?” he asked, wondering why she felt gleeful and what about as he opened her door for her.
“You couldn’t convince him to leave,” she said as she touched his cheek with a smile and slipped inside, closing the door behind herself. Changmin stared at the door in surprise. He’d been so caught up in keeping his relationship and feelings a secret, he’d forgotten about his initial intentions.
With a sigh, Changmin decided he needed to reevaluate his outlook. He was supposed to tell Junsu not to come back, and yet here he was, looking forward to every time Junsu would indeed return. Shaking his head, Changmin let himself into his room and blinked in surprise. There was Junsu, laying on his bed with a book, glancing over with a smile when he saw Changmin.
“When did you get here?” Changmin was bewildered by the sudden appearance and intrigued by the yukata he wore.
“When Kame was distracted by his farewell assembly,” Junsu replied as he snapped the book shut and sat up. “Didn’t want him to know I was here while he was gone, or I know he would have stayed.” He scooted to the side of the bed as he set the book on Changmin’s bedside table and tilted his head to the side. “Something wrong?”
Changmin shook his head as he approached and let Junsu wrap his arms around his middle, pulling him close to bury his face against Changmin’s stomach. He rested his arms around Junsu’s shoulders, enjoying the vampire’s feelings for him. It made him feel like a sap sometimes, but they felt warm and inviting.
“Why did you come?” he asked finally.
Junsu sighed against his stomach and tilted his head back so he could look up. “I knew if I came back, we could spend the week together uninterrupted.”
Changmin snorted, turned on by the thought. “You’re spoiling me.”
Junsu grinned. “Gives you something to look forward to.” He slid up Changmin’s torso, his fingertips resting at the back of Changmin’s neck. “And something to remember,” he murmured before their lips came together. Changmin sighed into the kiss as he rested his arms at the small of Junsu’s back. He’d missed the vampire and his lips. He’d been gone for over a month now and Changmin’s bedroom had been quiet since he’d left.
If there was one thing Changmin missed about Junsu, it had been his voice. As with the first time they met, he always heard harmonious tones complimenting Junsu’s voice. One night as they were reading together on Changmin’s bed, Junsu began to hum to himself and Changmin was so distracted by the sound and tones, that when Junsu went to turn the page he closed the book instead, setting it aside to ask Junsu to hum some more. He did one better—he sang. There was nothing more amazing than Junsu’s singing voice, even if it was a soft lullaby.
Then again, he had to admit he loved it when Junsu moaned when they were in bed together. As soon Kame had made the suggestion that Changmin take payments by having Junsu sleep with him, Changmin waited for Junsu to work up the nerve. The next time he came back, he was all nerves, left feet and elbows, but Changmin had made it work. Their first time was nothing like with Kumi, who had been all business, even if she’d made it feel good. No, his first time with Junsu had been sort of awkward, but it was also the first time he’d actually been attracted to the person he was having sex with, and truly enjoyed everything about it. Especially Junsu’s voice.
But now—now Junsu was molded up against him, fingers tangled in his hair as Changmin had a mind to throw him down and take him right there. He didn’t, instead running his hands lower to cup Junsu’s ass to give it a squeeze and feel a smile against his lips. Junsu cut the kiss short with a giggle as they nuzzled one another and Changmin gave him another squeeze. He promptly pulled his hands back up as he felt someone approaching.
“Someone’s coming,” he murmured in annoyance.
“I know,” Junsu replied, his hands freezing on Changmin’s shoulders.
“How should we play this?” he asked.
Junsu was silent for a moment before he looked up into Changmin’s eyes. “Possessive.”
When the knock came at the door, Changmin called out a very irritated, “What?”
A guard pushed the door open and stepped in before backing up a step at the glare Changmin threw at him, lover’s arms wrapped possessively around him. Junsu had his forehead against Changmin’s shoulder as he too was glaring at the intruder. The guard stammered an apology and something about how it could wait before he fled Changmin’s anger. To anger the pet was to anger Kame, if Changmin felt like telling him. Junsu let out a sigh and Changmin pressed a kiss to his forehead before letting go to move to the door and lock it. No more intrusions or interruptions.
Junsu caught him in a kiss halfway to the bed, and moaned softly into it as his desire seeped out and neither could wait any longer. Changmin’s barriers came crashing down as hands started tugging at fabric and he maneuvered them over to the bed. He could feel Junsu’s breath against his lips as the belt over his lover’s hips slipped to the floor and he snuck his hands between the front folds to push the yukata open and off Junsu’s shoulders. The fabric hit the floor as Changmin’s followed, the two climbing onto the bed without hesitation. He smirked at the giggle that escaped Junsu when they had to shift further so Changmin could reach under the pillows and pull out the bottle of oil he’d purloined from one of the supply closets.
He kissed Junsu’s amusement away as he slid an oil slick finger into his lover, another finger joining soon after as the kiss broke and Junsu made a sound he’d been wanting to hear for weeks. It was somewhere between a whimper and a moan, but he never got tired of it. Every little sound Junsu made was always testing his patience because he knew how much his lover enjoyed it. He leaned down and pressed a line of kisses up the side of Junsu’s jaw, faltering at the last as a hand gripped his cock to coat it with the oil. He hummed against Junsu’s ear before kissing it to earn another lovely sound, and the tones that accompanied it made him shiver.
The hand disappeared and Changmin had a feeling Junsu was growing impatient, and withdrew his fingers to hear a slight mewl as the friction disappeared. He couldn’t wait anymore and leaned down to steal a kiss. Before he knew it, Junsu was breaking the kiss to moan softly as they moved together. It didn’t take them long to find the rhythm, and then Changmin remembered the way he’d gotten Junsu to arch his back last time, and tried to roll his hips that way again. He couldn’t stop himself, as the emotions were hammering at his patience.
A few more thrusts and Junsu was twisting against him, muttering incoherent words between ‘there’ and other expletives. All the lust and desire heated his blood in a way that he couldn’t control, and he liked it. It was addictive and made him moan in response. Then Junsu’s fingers dug into his back, and Changmin couldn’t ignore the desperation in his touch. He quickened his pace to feel a gasp against his cheek as his lover’s nails dug in further still as he hit his climax. Changmin couldn’t have swallowed the next moan if he’d wanted to, Junsu’s body tightening over him and destroying his control. He didn’t last much longer before he was spilling himself inside his lover, moaning against the lips that murmured something enticing to him. He shuddered at the sound of Junsu’s voice and collapsed against his lover, energy spent.
They lay there for some time before Changmin noticed the gentle hand running through his shoulder length hair. His own fingers were tracing back and forth over the edge of Junsu’s shoulder and he half-smiled at the absentminded caress. He liked this; these things made it all so worthwhile to keep. He didn’t want this to end—ever. And truly, it never had to.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but keep thinking it,” Junsu murmured softly and Changmin could tell he was smiling. “Your emotions feel amazing.”
Changmin scoffed. “I’ll do my best.”
And for a week, he did. No matter what he had to put up with concerning the staff, or orders left by Kame, nothing brought him down from the high that was Junsu always waiting in his room. He used every spare moment he could to feel all of the things that Junsu made him feel. And it was near the end of the week that Changmin realized, he could feel. No longer was his life numb and empty. Junsu had filled every little part of him that had been missing, and he felt whole because of it. Even when Junsu left at the end of the week, Changmin didn’t feel regret, because he had the memories just as Junsu had promised, and he knew his lover would be back.
The only unknown factor that came into play was of course, Kame. Once Junsu was gone, Kame returned and Changmin went through the motions, but it became harder after that week. The mask that he’d so perfectly sculpted had been chipped away by Junsu. He had to try desperately hard to keep that mask in place when Kame led him into his private apartments for some personal attention. It wasn’t until later that month his mask broke.
In some deep negotiations with another vampire, Kame ended up losing an important asset in the deal, but Changmin didn’t know which as he’d never attended. Furious that he’d managed to do so, Kame did what normally came to him. He called Changmin into the red room and took it out on him until he could calm himself. Never in Changmin’s memory had he ever been so cruel, but after that week of being with Junsu, he had to wonder if he’d become soft. Kame knew every little place on Changmin that would make him beg for the pain to stop. He even knew just when Changmin would stiffen, thinking something was going to come, only to give him pain in a brand new spot where he least expected. He didn’t care about the pain. He was trying so hard to keep from saying anything that wasn’t just a scream or begging Kame to stop. He knew if he so much as said Junsu’s name once, even at a whisper, incoherently, Kame would know. And the thought frightened him.
But he didn’t give anything away; not one word. By the time Kame had finished, Changmin didn’t know if he could move at all. He hadn’t been tortured this way for years, and was surprised Kame even remembered how to do so. When his master left the room, Kumi was outside and Changmin managed to look up through the haze of pain to see her eyes widen in horror.
“See to it that he’s healed by the day after tomorrow. I’ll need him at court,” Kame said carelessly as he brushed by Kumi, but deep down, he could feel that Kame was still angry at himself. He wondered if Kame knew something about killing vampires that he didn’t. Could Kame damage him irreversibly if he’d kept going? The thought dissolved as Kumi tried to help him off the floor and he brushed her away. It hurt to be touched.
“He’ll be angry if you get blood on your kimono. I’ll be fine,” he lied and winced as he tried to sit up.
“Hang the kimono, you’re in pain!” she hissed before she turned. Over fifteen years together and she couldn’t stop from worrying over him. “Guards!” she called before ordering them to carefully help Changmin to his room, and ordered his bathtub be filled with warm water.
Once in his room, Kumi set about getting whatever clothing he had left off of his body. “The wounds will heal wrong if I don’t get everything out of them, and we know how the master likes you perfect,” she explained quietly as she carefully picked a thread out of one. While Changmin didn’t understand why she wouldn’t leave the task to one of the servants, he let her do all the work. She wanted to. He was grateful even if he didn’t care about the wounds much. He knew he would heal. But Kame always made damn sure it hurt, even if you were a vampire. A servant arrived not long after with a tray that held a pitcher and a cup, and the scent hit Changmin’s nose before she was even halfway across the room. Thirstier than he thought he’d ever be, she poured him cup after cup until he’d emptied the pitcher. Unfortunately, it didn’t make the pain disappear.
Once Kumi was finished cleaning his wounds, she helped him into a larger flat basin where she scrubbed him clean, and that had hurt like hell. Finished with that torture, she helped him into the bathtub filled with hot water and told him to relax as she ran off. Changmin sighed in relief. Silence—pure silence echoed around him and he could breathe despite the pain. It wasn’t too long before Kumi returned to set a towel on the edge of the tub and caught Changmin’s eye.
“Junsu just arrived.”
The breath caught in Changmin’s throat. “No.”
She frowned. “No?”
He glanced up at her eyes in fear. “Don’t let him in here yet.”
“Why not?” Her worry touched him and he shook his head.
“I don’t want him to see me like this.” His voice was small, but it was the truth.
“Changmin. Don’t be silly.” She reached out to touch his hair and he flinched away. “You need him.”
“I don’t need anyone!” he snapped without thinking and she stood in surprise. “I… I just want to be alone right now,” he murmured and she nodded before taking her leave of him, and he suddenly felt horrible. That wasn’t what he’d meant to say at all. He splashed his face with the water and scrubbed it, ignoring the pain from small cuts. He looked down at his arms when he was finished and made a face at all of the wounds, and the bruises that were beginning to form. He never understood how Kame did it, but he would probably have them through the end of the next day before they were healed enough to not be noticed. If he’d still been human, he might have passed out halfway through. He shook his head at the thought and leaned back. He would be healed in two days, and that was the end of it. Life would go on and—
His eyes flew open at the sound of the door and stared in horror as Junsu slipped in to lock the door behind himself. Kumi was supposed to tell him not to come, so why was he here? Changmin slouched down in the water and watched as Junsu crossed the room and grabbed the chair from Changmin’s desk to bring over to sit next to the tub.
“I didn’t want you to come,” he said automatically, almost wishing he hadn’t, but when Junsu’s eyes softened, he realized Junsu would have come no matter what.
“I know.” Junsu’s fingers reached down to Changmin’s chin and he flinched away, but Junsu waited patiently before he touched it to tilt it up to lean down. Wishing he could control his reactions, Changmin flinched away again. Despite this, Junsu leaned closer to press a soft kiss to his forehead, and Changmin felt shame when the tears slipped down his cheeks.
He reached up to take one of Junsu’s hands as it squeezed his and they just sat in silence as Changmin let the tears fall. He didn’t care anymore, Junsu was right there, just as he’d promised.
“I thought vampires were supposed to heal faster and not feel as much pain,” Junsu said quietly after a time.
Changmin sighed shakily before he looked up at Junsu. “When it’s Kame, he makes sure he gets the job done. No matter what.”
Hurt and disappointment radiated from Junsu as he shook his head. “I feel like this is my fault.”
“It’s not. He’s just like that,” Changmin replied and kissed his hand.
“No, I knew the deal was going to end badly for Kame. I didn’t think much of it, though,” he explained. “He was supposed to take you with him so he could tell whether the other vampire was lying or not during the first meeting. But he never did. Because of this, he lost something valuable in the second negotiation and blamed you for not being there. If I’d just told him—”
“No.” Changmin shook his head. “You can’t let him find out.”
“Not me. You. You were supposed to be there.” He sighed and hung his head. “But I didn’t know.”
“It’s not your fault,” Changmin defended. “No one is to blame but Kame for his inability to control his rage.”
Junsu shook his head as Changmin felt his compassion. “You don’t deserve this.”
“And what do I deserve?” Changmin scoffed.
“Come to bed with me and I’ll show you.”
Changmin glanced up in surprise at the honesty in Junsu’s eyes. He watched as Junsu picked up the towel to hold it out, offering to help him dry off, and he decided help might not be such a bad thing after all. He clenched his teeth as he moved to pull himself out of the water, every little cut and bruise screaming in anger at being moved. He was also pretty sure Kame had broken a few things that were currently mending. He stepped into the towel and the arms the enveloped him with warmth. He waited patiently as Junsu toweled him dry and even sought out a small smile by ruffling his hair to get some of the water out.
Changmin let Junsu draw him over to the bed and while he winced a few times, he got himself situated in a comfortable location. He then watched as Junsu stripped off his clothing and joined him. It took him a while to stop flinching when Junsu moved to touch him, but ever patient, Junsu took his time that night to show Changmin exactly what kind of treatment he truly deserved.
And nothing felt better than Junsu’s touch over his healing skin.
~***~
can you believe i've been writing this series for over a year and it's almost finished? :)
edit: I just want to let anyone know who read Feel and Redefine, I'm thinking about fleshing out Jin's character a little bit and I want to warn everyone that I might edit a few particular parts. I will specify which parts have been updated on the next post if I choose to do so, since the change I thought of happens in this fic and then affects the others since they happen later~
Part 12
Author: LotusBeauty
Rating: R to NC-17
Pairings: Min+Su, Min+Kumi
Genre: AU, fantasy, romance/drama/emo (lots of emo)
Summary: Prequel to Feel and Redefine. This arc encompasses Changmin’s past; how he became a vampire and how he and Junsu met.
Notes: You don’t have to read the other two before you read this, but it would probably be a good idea to have some general vampire myths down.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were.
Previous chapters can be found HERE.
Part 11: Glycerine
It took Changmin a little while to notice, but it always seemed like Junsu managed to return right after Kame had hurt him in some way. Whether it was for his own pleasure, or taking out his anger on Changmin, Junsu would promptly show up soon after to let Changmin talk to him if he needed. He didn’t show up every time and most of the time, Changmin didn’t need to talk about what happened, but having someone there to understand was appreciated. He had a feeling Junsu would get a vision and come back when it came to him. It wasn’t too often since Junsu’s treks would have him gone for weeks at a time, and his stays in the coven ranged in time as well. Once, Changmin even got to console Junsu for ending up with a sore shoulder when he returned once after having gotten caught in a bar brawl before he slipped out and to the coven.
Keeping their feelings from Kame proved to be easier than they thought, but they were still cautious. Letting their guard down would only get them into trouble. Changmin acted like he couldn’t decide between Kame and Junsu, while Junsu flirted with everyone, especially Kumi, though spent most of his time with Kumi and Changmin. He did make friends, so to speak, with other vampires in the coven, and Changmin was relieved to find they were vampires he knew to be much more genuine than others.
Mostly, Changmin just liked being with Junsu, because it made him happy. Though he feared losing what they had together, it only drove them to keep the relationship safe. It was frightening to know once he’d gotten a taste, he couldn’t let it go. But he knew Junsu was worth it.
Currently, Junsu wasn’t in the coven, and Changmin didn’t know when he was due back, but he was content all the same. Every year or two, Kame would go on a trip for a week or so, somewhere in the world to gorge himself on blood from the humans that lived in the place he chose. Apparently, while Changmin was still human, those few years Kame would give his pet a session that would take him a week to recover from so that he would never know Kame was missing. Once Changmin was a vampire, it was by his fifth year he noticed these trips. Even if the guards watched him like hawks, he looked forward to them. He wouldn’t have to suffer through Kame’s presence if he was gone. Even so, he had to be there to bid Kame farewell when he left.
He didn’t mind the goodbyes. He would act possessive and angry that he was leaving, while Kumi and his newest pet Jin pouted and told Kame to be safe (as if it mattered). Jin had only been a pet to Kame for a handful of months, but in that time, he’d been broken, changed, and learned a lot faster than others. Changmin knew Jin wanted his place and would gladly give it up if Kame wasn’t so amused by their supposed rivalry. Good thing Jin had more fear for him than jealousy.
As Kumi prodded Kame, he promised her that sometime he would take her with him. She’d squealed like a child when he told her that, as Changmin rolled his eyes in annoyance. Lucky bitch. When Kame was finally gone, Kumi hung on Changmin’s arm as they made their way down the corridors and spoke quietly.
“How long has it been?” she asked softly as they stopped before her chambers. “Since he got here?”
Changmin squinted his eyes as he looked to the ceiling. “About a year I believe.”
“You failed,” Kumi told him with a grin threatening to surface.
“What do you mean?” he asked, wondering why she felt gleeful and what about as he opened her door for her.
“You couldn’t convince him to leave,” she said as she touched his cheek with a smile and slipped inside, closing the door behind herself. Changmin stared at the door in surprise. He’d been so caught up in keeping his relationship and feelings a secret, he’d forgotten about his initial intentions.
With a sigh, Changmin decided he needed to reevaluate his outlook. He was supposed to tell Junsu not to come back, and yet here he was, looking forward to every time Junsu would indeed return. Shaking his head, Changmin let himself into his room and blinked in surprise. There was Junsu, laying on his bed with a book, glancing over with a smile when he saw Changmin.
“When did you get here?” Changmin was bewildered by the sudden appearance and intrigued by the yukata he wore.
“When Kame was distracted by his farewell assembly,” Junsu replied as he snapped the book shut and sat up. “Didn’t want him to know I was here while he was gone, or I know he would have stayed.” He scooted to the side of the bed as he set the book on Changmin’s bedside table and tilted his head to the side. “Something wrong?”
Changmin shook his head as he approached and let Junsu wrap his arms around his middle, pulling him close to bury his face against Changmin’s stomach. He rested his arms around Junsu’s shoulders, enjoying the vampire’s feelings for him. It made him feel like a sap sometimes, but they felt warm and inviting.
“Why did you come?” he asked finally.
Junsu sighed against his stomach and tilted his head back so he could look up. “I knew if I came back, we could spend the week together uninterrupted.”
Changmin snorted, turned on by the thought. “You’re spoiling me.”
Junsu grinned. “Gives you something to look forward to.” He slid up Changmin’s torso, his fingertips resting at the back of Changmin’s neck. “And something to remember,” he murmured before their lips came together. Changmin sighed into the kiss as he rested his arms at the small of Junsu’s back. He’d missed the vampire and his lips. He’d been gone for over a month now and Changmin’s bedroom had been quiet since he’d left.
If there was one thing Changmin missed about Junsu, it had been his voice. As with the first time they met, he always heard harmonious tones complimenting Junsu’s voice. One night as they were reading together on Changmin’s bed, Junsu began to hum to himself and Changmin was so distracted by the sound and tones, that when Junsu went to turn the page he closed the book instead, setting it aside to ask Junsu to hum some more. He did one better—he sang. There was nothing more amazing than Junsu’s singing voice, even if it was a soft lullaby.
Then again, he had to admit he loved it when Junsu moaned when they were in bed together. As soon Kame had made the suggestion that Changmin take payments by having Junsu sleep with him, Changmin waited for Junsu to work up the nerve. The next time he came back, he was all nerves, left feet and elbows, but Changmin had made it work. Their first time was nothing like with Kumi, who had been all business, even if she’d made it feel good. No, his first time with Junsu had been sort of awkward, but it was also the first time he’d actually been attracted to the person he was having sex with, and truly enjoyed everything about it. Especially Junsu’s voice.
But now—now Junsu was molded up against him, fingers tangled in his hair as Changmin had a mind to throw him down and take him right there. He didn’t, instead running his hands lower to cup Junsu’s ass to give it a squeeze and feel a smile against his lips. Junsu cut the kiss short with a giggle as they nuzzled one another and Changmin gave him another squeeze. He promptly pulled his hands back up as he felt someone approaching.
“Someone’s coming,” he murmured in annoyance.
“I know,” Junsu replied, his hands freezing on Changmin’s shoulders.
“How should we play this?” he asked.
Junsu was silent for a moment before he looked up into Changmin’s eyes. “Possessive.”
When the knock came at the door, Changmin called out a very irritated, “What?”
A guard pushed the door open and stepped in before backing up a step at the glare Changmin threw at him, lover’s arms wrapped possessively around him. Junsu had his forehead against Changmin’s shoulder as he too was glaring at the intruder. The guard stammered an apology and something about how it could wait before he fled Changmin’s anger. To anger the pet was to anger Kame, if Changmin felt like telling him. Junsu let out a sigh and Changmin pressed a kiss to his forehead before letting go to move to the door and lock it. No more intrusions or interruptions.
Junsu caught him in a kiss halfway to the bed, and moaned softly into it as his desire seeped out and neither could wait any longer. Changmin’s barriers came crashing down as hands started tugging at fabric and he maneuvered them over to the bed. He could feel Junsu’s breath against his lips as the belt over his lover’s hips slipped to the floor and he snuck his hands between the front folds to push the yukata open and off Junsu’s shoulders. The fabric hit the floor as Changmin’s followed, the two climbing onto the bed without hesitation. He smirked at the giggle that escaped Junsu when they had to shift further so Changmin could reach under the pillows and pull out the bottle of oil he’d purloined from one of the supply closets.
He kissed Junsu’s amusement away as he slid an oil slick finger into his lover, another finger joining soon after as the kiss broke and Junsu made a sound he’d been wanting to hear for weeks. It was somewhere between a whimper and a moan, but he never got tired of it. Every little sound Junsu made was always testing his patience because he knew how much his lover enjoyed it. He leaned down and pressed a line of kisses up the side of Junsu’s jaw, faltering at the last as a hand gripped his cock to coat it with the oil. He hummed against Junsu’s ear before kissing it to earn another lovely sound, and the tones that accompanied it made him shiver.
The hand disappeared and Changmin had a feeling Junsu was growing impatient, and withdrew his fingers to hear a slight mewl as the friction disappeared. He couldn’t wait anymore and leaned down to steal a kiss. Before he knew it, Junsu was breaking the kiss to moan softly as they moved together. It didn’t take them long to find the rhythm, and then Changmin remembered the way he’d gotten Junsu to arch his back last time, and tried to roll his hips that way again. He couldn’t stop himself, as the emotions were hammering at his patience.
A few more thrusts and Junsu was twisting against him, muttering incoherent words between ‘there’ and other expletives. All the lust and desire heated his blood in a way that he couldn’t control, and he liked it. It was addictive and made him moan in response. Then Junsu’s fingers dug into his back, and Changmin couldn’t ignore the desperation in his touch. He quickened his pace to feel a gasp against his cheek as his lover’s nails dug in further still as he hit his climax. Changmin couldn’t have swallowed the next moan if he’d wanted to, Junsu’s body tightening over him and destroying his control. He didn’t last much longer before he was spilling himself inside his lover, moaning against the lips that murmured something enticing to him. He shuddered at the sound of Junsu’s voice and collapsed against his lover, energy spent.
They lay there for some time before Changmin noticed the gentle hand running through his shoulder length hair. His own fingers were tracing back and forth over the edge of Junsu’s shoulder and he half-smiled at the absentminded caress. He liked this; these things made it all so worthwhile to keep. He didn’t want this to end—ever. And truly, it never had to.
“I don’t know what you’re thinking, but keep thinking it,” Junsu murmured softly and Changmin could tell he was smiling. “Your emotions feel amazing.”
Changmin scoffed. “I’ll do my best.”
And for a week, he did. No matter what he had to put up with concerning the staff, or orders left by Kame, nothing brought him down from the high that was Junsu always waiting in his room. He used every spare moment he could to feel all of the things that Junsu made him feel. And it was near the end of the week that Changmin realized, he could feel. No longer was his life numb and empty. Junsu had filled every little part of him that had been missing, and he felt whole because of it. Even when Junsu left at the end of the week, Changmin didn’t feel regret, because he had the memories just as Junsu had promised, and he knew his lover would be back.
The only unknown factor that came into play was of course, Kame. Once Junsu was gone, Kame returned and Changmin went through the motions, but it became harder after that week. The mask that he’d so perfectly sculpted had been chipped away by Junsu. He had to try desperately hard to keep that mask in place when Kame led him into his private apartments for some personal attention. It wasn’t until later that month his mask broke.
In some deep negotiations with another vampire, Kame ended up losing an important asset in the deal, but Changmin didn’t know which as he’d never attended. Furious that he’d managed to do so, Kame did what normally came to him. He called Changmin into the red room and took it out on him until he could calm himself. Never in Changmin’s memory had he ever been so cruel, but after that week of being with Junsu, he had to wonder if he’d become soft. Kame knew every little place on Changmin that would make him beg for the pain to stop. He even knew just when Changmin would stiffen, thinking something was going to come, only to give him pain in a brand new spot where he least expected. He didn’t care about the pain. He was trying so hard to keep from saying anything that wasn’t just a scream or begging Kame to stop. He knew if he so much as said Junsu’s name once, even at a whisper, incoherently, Kame would know. And the thought frightened him.
But he didn’t give anything away; not one word. By the time Kame had finished, Changmin didn’t know if he could move at all. He hadn’t been tortured this way for years, and was surprised Kame even remembered how to do so. When his master left the room, Kumi was outside and Changmin managed to look up through the haze of pain to see her eyes widen in horror.
“See to it that he’s healed by the day after tomorrow. I’ll need him at court,” Kame said carelessly as he brushed by Kumi, but deep down, he could feel that Kame was still angry at himself. He wondered if Kame knew something about killing vampires that he didn’t. Could Kame damage him irreversibly if he’d kept going? The thought dissolved as Kumi tried to help him off the floor and he brushed her away. It hurt to be touched.
“He’ll be angry if you get blood on your kimono. I’ll be fine,” he lied and winced as he tried to sit up.
“Hang the kimono, you’re in pain!” she hissed before she turned. Over fifteen years together and she couldn’t stop from worrying over him. “Guards!” she called before ordering them to carefully help Changmin to his room, and ordered his bathtub be filled with warm water.
Once in his room, Kumi set about getting whatever clothing he had left off of his body. “The wounds will heal wrong if I don’t get everything out of them, and we know how the master likes you perfect,” she explained quietly as she carefully picked a thread out of one. While Changmin didn’t understand why she wouldn’t leave the task to one of the servants, he let her do all the work. She wanted to. He was grateful even if he didn’t care about the wounds much. He knew he would heal. But Kame always made damn sure it hurt, even if you were a vampire. A servant arrived not long after with a tray that held a pitcher and a cup, and the scent hit Changmin’s nose before she was even halfway across the room. Thirstier than he thought he’d ever be, she poured him cup after cup until he’d emptied the pitcher. Unfortunately, it didn’t make the pain disappear.
Once Kumi was finished cleaning his wounds, she helped him into a larger flat basin where she scrubbed him clean, and that had hurt like hell. Finished with that torture, she helped him into the bathtub filled with hot water and told him to relax as she ran off. Changmin sighed in relief. Silence—pure silence echoed around him and he could breathe despite the pain. It wasn’t too long before Kumi returned to set a towel on the edge of the tub and caught Changmin’s eye.
“Junsu just arrived.”
The breath caught in Changmin’s throat. “No.”
She frowned. “No?”
He glanced up at her eyes in fear. “Don’t let him in here yet.”
“Why not?” Her worry touched him and he shook his head.
“I don’t want him to see me like this.” His voice was small, but it was the truth.
“Changmin. Don’t be silly.” She reached out to touch his hair and he flinched away. “You need him.”
“I don’t need anyone!” he snapped without thinking and she stood in surprise. “I… I just want to be alone right now,” he murmured and she nodded before taking her leave of him, and he suddenly felt horrible. That wasn’t what he’d meant to say at all. He splashed his face with the water and scrubbed it, ignoring the pain from small cuts. He looked down at his arms when he was finished and made a face at all of the wounds, and the bruises that were beginning to form. He never understood how Kame did it, but he would probably have them through the end of the next day before they were healed enough to not be noticed. If he’d still been human, he might have passed out halfway through. He shook his head at the thought and leaned back. He would be healed in two days, and that was the end of it. Life would go on and—
His eyes flew open at the sound of the door and stared in horror as Junsu slipped in to lock the door behind himself. Kumi was supposed to tell him not to come, so why was he here? Changmin slouched down in the water and watched as Junsu crossed the room and grabbed the chair from Changmin’s desk to bring over to sit next to the tub.
“I didn’t want you to come,” he said automatically, almost wishing he hadn’t, but when Junsu’s eyes softened, he realized Junsu would have come no matter what.
“I know.” Junsu’s fingers reached down to Changmin’s chin and he flinched away, but Junsu waited patiently before he touched it to tilt it up to lean down. Wishing he could control his reactions, Changmin flinched away again. Despite this, Junsu leaned closer to press a soft kiss to his forehead, and Changmin felt shame when the tears slipped down his cheeks.
He reached up to take one of Junsu’s hands as it squeezed his and they just sat in silence as Changmin let the tears fall. He didn’t care anymore, Junsu was right there, just as he’d promised.
“I thought vampires were supposed to heal faster and not feel as much pain,” Junsu said quietly after a time.
Changmin sighed shakily before he looked up at Junsu. “When it’s Kame, he makes sure he gets the job done. No matter what.”
Hurt and disappointment radiated from Junsu as he shook his head. “I feel like this is my fault.”
“It’s not. He’s just like that,” Changmin replied and kissed his hand.
“No, I knew the deal was going to end badly for Kame. I didn’t think much of it, though,” he explained. “He was supposed to take you with him so he could tell whether the other vampire was lying or not during the first meeting. But he never did. Because of this, he lost something valuable in the second negotiation and blamed you for not being there. If I’d just told him—”
“No.” Changmin shook his head. “You can’t let him find out.”
“Not me. You. You were supposed to be there.” He sighed and hung his head. “But I didn’t know.”
“It’s not your fault,” Changmin defended. “No one is to blame but Kame for his inability to control his rage.”
Junsu shook his head as Changmin felt his compassion. “You don’t deserve this.”
“And what do I deserve?” Changmin scoffed.
“Come to bed with me and I’ll show you.”
Changmin glanced up in surprise at the honesty in Junsu’s eyes. He watched as Junsu picked up the towel to hold it out, offering to help him dry off, and he decided help might not be such a bad thing after all. He clenched his teeth as he moved to pull himself out of the water, every little cut and bruise screaming in anger at being moved. He was also pretty sure Kame had broken a few things that were currently mending. He stepped into the towel and the arms the enveloped him with warmth. He waited patiently as Junsu toweled him dry and even sought out a small smile by ruffling his hair to get some of the water out.
Changmin let Junsu draw him over to the bed and while he winced a few times, he got himself situated in a comfortable location. He then watched as Junsu stripped off his clothing and joined him. It took him a while to stop flinching when Junsu moved to touch him, but ever patient, Junsu took his time that night to show Changmin exactly what kind of treatment he truly deserved.
And nothing felt better than Junsu’s touch over his healing skin.
~***~
can you believe i've been writing this series for over a year and it's almost finished? :)
edit: I just want to let anyone know who read Feel and Redefine, I'm thinking about fleshing out Jin's character a little bit and I want to warn everyone that I might edit a few particular parts. I will specify which parts have been updated on the next post if I choose to do so, since the change I thought of happens in this fic and then affects the others since they happen later~
Part 12
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:05 am (UTC)TT^TT
I love Junsu and Kumi...they're so caring toward Changmin...and I'm glad that Su went to him anyway...he really needed him.
Get away soon, bbs~!
/anxious
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:29 am (UTC)MinSu are so sweet in this xD Well...that and utterly hot LOL
*glares at Kame though* Aish~! I can't wait until the finally get away from him >.<
Ah~ I can't wait to see what happens next~ ^^
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 10:35 am (UTC)i hope minsu escape soom :'( though im sure kame wouldn't leave them at peace
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 12:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 02:56 pm (UTC)He has Junsu as his weakness,, although he try to hide it here and there he finally succumb to his feelings...
tanx for this update dear..
no subject
Date: 2010-02-17 01:36 am (UTC)As to Gravity as a whole; it makes me want to read the final chapters of FEEL once again, just for a sick sense of vindication.
Haven't read all of Redefine yet (RL just HAD to intrude). But will absolutely do so.
This all is such a fine set of dedicated writing.
Thank you for so many wonderful chapters.