[Fic] Gravity : 10/18
Feb. 9th, 2010 03:04 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lotus_beautyTitle: Gravity
Author: LotusBeauty
Rating: R to NC-17
Pairings: Min+Su, Min+Kumi
Genre: AU, fantasy, romance/drama/emo (lots of emo)
Summary: Prequel to Feel and Redefine. This arc encompasses Changmin’s past; how he became a vampire and how he and Junsu met.
Notes: You don’t have to read the other two before you read this, but it would probably be a good idea to have some general vampire myths down.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were.
Prologue
1: Cold
2: A Beautiful Lie
3: Haunted
4: Crawling
5: Away from the Sun
6: Daylight
7: Right Where it Belongs
8: Name
9: Thief
Part 10: Remember
Returning after his first trip had been normal, as Junsu was clearly training himself to follow a routine. Changmin knew this, and found himself looking forward to Junsu’s second return.
When he arrived after his second trip, Junsu offered a skein of silk to Kame, whose only response was that it wouldn’t be accepted as part of his payment. Junsu told Kame it was a gift, which Kame graciously accepted. When asked if he’d thought of a payment, Kame said he’d been considering a few, but had not yet decided. Junsu was clearly a bit frustrated, and Kame liked that. Changmin told Junsu so, and he said he had expected it. Kame’s greed was predictable. While Changmin had been reporting to Kame about Junsu, there wasn’t really much to tell. Junsu really was a traveler and the revelation bored Kame.
On his third return, Junsu gave Changmin a tooth from a tiger he’d killed while back in China. Curious, Changmin asked why. Junsu told him he’d used the tiger for blood and that he and a friend used to sell animal pelts as their income while living there. He’d done the same on his return trip apparently.
“No, I meant, why did you give me the tooth?” he’d asked again.
“Oh, well it’s the fang and I just figured you might like it,” Junsu had said with a shrug as Changmin looked it over again.
“Thanks,” he’d said quietly and set the tooth on his desk. No one had ever given him a gift without expecting something in return. He found himself glancing at it from time to time, and would refuse to think he liked it. It was just a damn tooth after all.
Changmin realized by the fourth return that he was looking forward to the times Junsu was in the coven. He had sought Junsu out on his last visit for company and knew that this time, he would want to spend even more time with Junsu. Ever since Junsu had said he would lend an ear to Changmin’s troubles, his resolve to keep everything to himself was crumbling. It would be nice to have someone to listen, just once, about how awful he felt about pretending to like everything Kame did to him. Kumi would never understand, she saw it as her duty because she was a spy and would never sympathize with his feelings.
“Hmm, I would have thought you’d be starting the hallways on fire.”
Changmin glanced up from his desk to see Kumi leaning on his doorway with a devious smirk. “And just what makes you think that?” he asked as he turned back to the book he was reading.
“Junsu is back.”
He froze and was out of his seat in an instant as he paused to plant a quick kiss on Kumi’s lips. “Thank you,” he murmured as he slipped past and down the hall.
Kumi sighed with a wistful smile. “So predictable.”
Changmin didn’t hear her as he was already five halls away and could sense where Junsu was. But when he closed the distance, he felt a wave of confusion and worry from the area and slowed to stop quietly at a corner. Kame was there—he could feel him—speaking to the other vampire.
“I have decided on a payment,” Kame’s voice floated down the hallway.
“Payment?” Junsu sounded wary.
“I haven’t asked for payment of your room and board yet. I’ve heard my pet Ishiko has taken an interest in you?” Kame suggested and by the sound, he seemed to be moving closer to Junsu.
“Has he? He is a good companion, speaking with me in Korean and helping in my Japanese,” Junsu replied neutrally, stumbling on a word or two. Changmin rolled his eyes in amusement, knowing Junsu was better than that.
“Hmm hmm,” Kame agreed with a nod. “Would you then agree to a payment to one of my servants? Maybe in the form of yourself?”
“I… excuse me?”
Changmin understood Kame’s meaning immediately and figured it was time he made his presence known. He slipped around the corner so that Kame could see him and noticed his master’s eyes light up at his appearance.
“Ah, Ishiko!” Kame waved an arm to beckon him. “Come here and help me convince Kim-san here.”
Without missing a beat, Changmin went straight to Kame’s side and let the vampire slip an arm around his waist and rested an arm on Kame’s shoulders, possessively to please his master. He didn’t miss the worry in Junsu’s eyes before it was hidden away. This was his position—the pet. He had to play the part, no matter how much he didn’t want to under Junsu’s gaze.
“You like our visitor yes?” Kame asked to receive a nod. “Would you like his company more? Maybe something more intimate?”
Changmin nodded and narrowed his eyes, as if to size up his friend while a smirk touched his lips. “Private lessons maybe?” Changmin suggested to get a content hum from his master. He knew exactly what Kame was thinking, just by the calculating feeling he was getting from the man. Changmin’s job was going to be to get close to Junsu to try to earn his trust before Kame would try to get him to join the coven permanently and swear his trust—and free will—to Kame. He knew it would take some time, but when you were a vampire, time meant nothing, especially to Kame. Changmin knew this well and knew that he would be able to take his time to get Junsu’s trust for himself. He could always make up excuses. His master didn’t take well to excuses, but Changmin would rather Kame take it out on him than be able to figure out how to break Junsu like he had himself.
“Private lessons!” Kame’s eyes danced deviously. “A fair exchange, you think? You keep teaching him Japanese and I rent him a room and you ask of him anything you like. How does that sound? You will make payment to my favorite pet here.” His grin reeked of greed and Changmin kept his mask of indifference tightly in place.
Junsu pursed his lips, contemplating the exchange before he nodded slowly. He had to know there was a catch that would come back to haunt him someday, but Changmin could tell Junsu was okay with that risk. “This sounds fair enough.” He glanced at Changmin. “I make all payments to him?”
“And he will report to me to ensure you make the payments,” Kame explained, his fingers lightly kneading the back of Changmin’s neck as Changmin leaned into the caress. “Right, Ishiko?”
“Correct,” Changmin let himself purr at his master who smiled contentedly and ran his fingers through the back of Changmin’s hair.
“I trust you’ll find something to occupy yourselves,” Kame’s order was not missed by Changmin who let the vampire slip from his arms as he made his way down the hall to turn the corner with a smirk. Changmin couldn’t help but wonder what made Kame think he’d suddenly won. He had to know he couldn’t trust them completely. Maybe that was part of his plan.
“And what kind of payment do you want today?”
Changmin glanced over to Junsu and gave him a quiet shrug. “Some conversation?”
Junsu considered him with a measuring look and Changmin could feel the uncertainty. “Do you always act—”
Changmin cut him off by holding a finger to his own lips and motioned for Junsu to follow. He led the young vampire back to his room and closed the door to make sure no one was listening. “Prying ears,” he told Junsu who nodded. “I assume you were going to ask why I always act like that around Kame?” Changmin glanced away when Junsu nodded again. “If I don’t, there are consequences.”
“From his proposition, can I guess you’re supposed to get close to me for information?” Junsu asked warily.
“Oh, I received that order when you arrived for the first time. Now I’m to seduce you into joining the coven.” Changmin replied and leaned back on the door. “It is clear that he wants you for himself.”
“And what do you think?”
Changmin might have smirked if he wasn’t going for dry humor. “Might take a while.” He shrugged and he felt relief from his friend as the room relaxed a degree. “I’d rather you not become his.”
“Because of what he is?” Junsu asked as he changed his stance. “What he’ll do?”
“What he’ll do to you is something I’d rather not have anyone else have to experience,” Changmin explained quietly as he noted the sympathy in Junsu’s eyes. “But, how do you know you can trust me?” Changmin asked warily, watching the vampire’s reaction of surprise, then understanding. “I might be working with Kame to capture you.”
“You hate him,” Junsu stated evenly as Changmin kept his gaze. “I can see it in your eyes. He thinks it is desire and devotion, but I can see that it is hatred for what he has made you.”
He couldn’t have put it better, Changmin thought as he glanced away. “You trust me?”
“You and Koda-san are the only ones I can trust,” he admitted quietly.
“Why are you here?” Changmin asked, confused. “I thought you were posing as a traveler that was supposed to spy on Kame, but now I don’t know what your purpose is.”
Junsu opened his mouth as if he was going to say something and closed it again, uncertainty in his features. “I’m not sure.”
“You were sent here and you don’t know why?” Changmin frowned. This was getting more puzzling by the second.
“It’s difficult to explain,” Junsu murmured.
“Well, we’ve got time.” Changmin pulled a chair out and sat as Junsu contented himself by leaning on the wall next to the door.
“What’s your position in this place?” Junsu asked suddenly. “No one will talk about you directly, but I’m always hearing about Kamenashi’s pet.”
With a sigh, Changmin sat back against his chair. “I am Kame’s pet, it’s true. But I’m also his truthseer.”
“You can tell when people are lying?” he asked as Changmin nodded. “How does it work?”
“Well, my power isn’t just to see the truth,” Changmin admitted quietly. “I’m an empath.”
“Emotions?” Junsu frowned then looked away and muttered something about emotional transfer. “And it came to you after you were turned?”
Changmin frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?” Everyone knew latent abilities surfaced during the change.
“When were you changed? What happened when you were?” Junsu asked suddenly.
Changmin balked at the question and looked away, refusing to remember that day. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Junsu frowned. “I thought you wanted conversation.”
“I don’t want to talk about it!” he snapped and stood, trying to hold his anger. “It’s none of your damned business.”
Junsu glanced away without a change to his expression, but Changmin could still feel his hurt, and then determination. “What did you do before you came here?” he changed the subject.
Changmin stood infuriated. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Well, what else are we going to talk about?” Junsu shot him a look that made him step back in surprise.
“I don’t understand,” Changmin frowned in confusion. Junsu was usually so easygoing. What made him so unexpectedly insistent?
“Who is the real Changmin?” Junsu asked quietly this time. “How am I supposed to know you’re being genuine without knowing who you are?” He advanced on Changmin until he fell back into the chair. “You’re always hiding behind a mask of indifference and hiding all of your emotions. If we’re going to talk, I want to know the real Changmin that no one else knows. I can’t get to know some wall that doesn’t feel any emotions at all!”
“I feel! I feel everything that everyone feels because of my goddamn power!” Changmin defended angrily. “How else can I live with feeling everything but try to block them and myself out!”
“At the cost of your own emotions? I can feel your mind screaming out in pain and anger at what’s been done to you, and yet you won’t talk about it because you’re scared?” Junsu accused, and Changmin panicked, thrusting his hands out to push Junsu away, but he used too much power, and watched in shock as Junsu flew back to hit the wall with a thud. Junsu scrambled to regain his footing and coughed, droplets of blood hitting the floor.
Horrified by his actions, Changmin fell back into the chair, unable to speak. He’d never lost control of his emotions before and didn’t even know how to begin to apologize. “I—I’m …sorry…” he murmured as Junsu wiped the blood from his chin. Junsu sighed and slid down the wall to sit on the floor as Changmin tried his best to keep from shaking in anger and fear.
“How am I to understand what you’ve been through if you won’t tell me about it?” he asked softly and Changmin felt his chest tighten. “You know I’m being genuine, Changmin. Help me understand. I want to understand.”
He didn’t know what to say or even how to say it if he could find anything worth saying. At least he understood what Junsu was doing. Here Junsu had been trying to provoke him into responding. “Provoking is probably the worst way to get a reaction out of me.”
“I still got one,” Junsu smirked and Changmin realized that he had indeed gotten one. “Though, Kumi thought it was a bad idea, I knew I had to get through to you in a way that made you react, or else I wouldn’t put the slightest crack in your wall.”
Changmin sighed in exasperation. “Stupid.” He got up and moved to join Junsu against the wall, sitting to Junsu’s left. “You didn’t have to. I was going to tell you anyway.”
Junsu shook his head. “No, you weren’t. You were going to ask about my life and listen to me talk without so much as offering anything about yourself. I would have talked for hours thinking I was getting to know you, but you wouldn’t be telling me a thing. We can make a deal instead. If you tell me something, I’ll tell you something,” he proposed.
That was way too easy and Changmin rolled his eyes as he started. “I like books.”
Junsu snorted. “No kidding,” he replied with a glance to the bookcase. “Why?”
“Tell me something you like,” Changmin demanded.
“You.”
He gaped at Junsu. “Er—what? Why?”
“Your turn.” Junsu grinned, avoiding.
Changmin ground his teeth in frustration. “Because I can escape in the books.”
“Because you make everything a challenge.” Junsu replied honestly as Changmin raised an eyebrow. “You always make me think and work for everything I do with you. Like when you’re teaching me Japanese, you don’t just give me the answer, you make me think and give the correct answer. I like someone who makes me think. I also like that you’re honest with me.”
After a moment of silence, “You told me a lot.”
“Your turn.” Junsu’s eyes caught his.
Changmin sighed and closed his eyes as he tried to think. He’d told Kumi at some point, but it was all hazy again. “I…” He opened his eyes to pull his knees up to his chin to rest it on them, his arms wrapping around his legs to hold them in place. “I don’t remember very well.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Nearly twenty years.” He heard Junsu curse in surprise. “It’s hard to remember.” He let his mind open up and stopped abruptly when Junsu scooted closer and put an arm around him. Forcing himself to relax, Changmin concentrated as he tried to think back. “I… used to work on a ship.”
“A ship?”
“A smuggling ship. I was good at helping to forge documents.”
“Does Kame have you do that?”
“No,” Changmin replied with a frown at Junsu. “He’s got staff enough for that.”
“So, all you do is tell him when people are lying?” Junsu shook his head. “It seems out of character for him not to use everything you have to offer.”
“I never told him I was an empath,” Changmin replied, a tingle of pride deep down.
“Really?” Junsu seemed intrigued. “Why?”
Amusement bubbled up in his chest, but he played it straight faced. “He never asked.” He waited for Junsu to laugh before he continued. “Promise you won’t tell him about my empathy. I don’t know what he’d use me for if he found out, but I’ve managed to keep him in the dark about it for so long and I’d like it to stay that way.”
“Tell him about what?” Junsu asked with an innocent smile and Changmin had a feeling this was going to get interesting.
The two spent hours together as Junsu quietly prompted Changmin to pry open his memories and tell more about himself. He found it hard sometimes, as all of the things he’d been through had overwritten other memories while other things stood out as painful reminders as to why he was still alive. It was difficult and painful for him to explain his change into a vampire, but Junsu was nothing if not patient and encouraging. For all his bravado earlier, he was extremely kind and helpful when Changmin related some of his worst memories. Junsu’s arm would squeeze his shoulders and the vampire would wait in silence before prompting him to continue, and Changmin would do so, if only to rid himself of his demons. At some point, Junsu wiped tears from his face, and Changmin wasn’t even aware he was crying.
“I can see why you don’t want me here,” Junsu said softly as his thumb traced up and down Changmin’s shoulder. It felt nice.
“You really shouldn’t be here,” Changmin replied quietly. “It’s not a place you’d want to be.”
“You don’t want Kame to break me the way he broke you. You don’t want me to become his,” Junsu said it finally, confirming that they were on the same page. Well, so far anyway.
“Well, that and…” Changmin’s eyes flicked to his bed for a split second. “I… I’d rather you were mine,” he admitted quietly as he felt his face heat for the first time in so many years.
Junsu blinked before his cheeks colored slightly pink and he glanced away. “I’d like that much more.”
Changmin let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t feel or see any lying from the vampire next to him and was glad to know Junsu liked his companionship just as much as he liked this newcomer himself. But Junsu had to know there was a catch. “We can’t—”
“We can’t let anyone find out.” Junsu nodded solemnly. “I’m sorry for provoking you earlier.”
“You said if you didn’t, then other things would happen. But I’d never thought about just listening. Why would you say that?” Changmin asked quietly.
Junsu was silent for a moment, before he spoke quietly. “It’s very dangerous for me to admit this. Kumi doesn’t even know.” Junsu paused as she shifted to face Changmin and look him in the eyes. “I have foresight.”
Changmin sat up straight, panic seeping into his mind. “You can see—why the hell are you in this coven? You need to get the hell out before Kame finds out and tries to use it!” he hissed.
Junsu shook his head. “He’s not important.”
“Well then why the hell are you here?” Changmin demanded. “There must be a damn good reason.”
“I came for you.”
Changmin stared in bewilderment. “Me?” Junsu radiated embarrassment and Changmin realized this wasn’t something he wanted to admit.
“I… I had visions of you,” he admitted quietly.
“Visions?” Now Changmin was hitting his limit on believing.
“When I told you I didn’t know why I was here, it’s true. I’ve been having visions of you for over seven years,” Junsu told him, and from what he could feel and see, Junsu was telling the truth.
“But, why me?” It didn’t make any sense.
“I don’t know! I started getting the visions a few years after I was turned. At first they were just images. Then when I figured out I had foresight, I trained myself to find your timeline and watch it where my power would let me.”
Changmin felt the fear shiver up his spine. “What did you see?”
“Mostly just mundane tasks at first. It was a while before I had a nightmare,” Junsu answered softly.
“You saw Kame,” Changmin guessed to watch Junsu nod.
“I saw a great many things that he did to you, and the emotional transfer was overwhelming.” Junsu pursed his lips together, as if trying not to cry.
“So that’s what you meant when you said that.” Changmin shook his head. “But if you knew, why make me tell you?”
“Because you needed to learn to trust me yourself. In a way, I really do understand what you’ve been through, even if I’ve only witnessed it.” He paused as he bit his lip. “It was painful to watch and know I couldn’t do anything to help. But I was determined to find you, and find a way to help you if I could.” Junsu looked up to catch Changmin’s eyes, and the feelings that they held blew him away. “Even if right now you can’t face them, someday I want you to be able to remember these things and be strong enough so that they don’t defeat you anymore. And I’m going to help you every step of the way.”
And then Changmin could feel his walls crumbling, because someone understood him—someone really understood. He wasn’t alone anymore. He hadn’t felt pain and relief like this in so long, he couldn’t even begin to find the strength to stop it. He fell apart right there against Junsu as he sobbed. And Junsu just held him tightly, rocking slowly back and forth as he radiated caring and understanding. That was all Changmin ever really wanted, was for someone to understand him, and he’d finally found it in the arms of someone who wasn’t afraid to help knock down all of his walls. He had to thank Junsu somehow.
“You should take your payment somehow tonight,” Junsu said softly when his tears had run out.
“Un,” Changmin grunted quietly as he untangled himself from Junsu. “Thank you.”
He froze when Junsu touched his chin and pulled him closer to press a kiss to his lips. So surprised was he, that he didn’t even react. Junsu just smiled and moved to get up, but Changmin grabbed his shoulder pulled him back for another, his emotions running wild in his head, twisting and melting together as he finally kissed Junsu back. He’d only ever kissed Kumi before, but this was different—so very different. He’d never felt like this before. Junsu’s feelings for him weren’t helping his resolve at all, the kiss deepening as Changmin knew he didn’t want it to stop—couldn’t stop. That is, until Junsu shifted to climb into his lap, pushing him down and he immediately pulled out of the kiss to push Junsu off of him, unnerved by having someone atop him.
Panting in fear, Changmin took a moment to calm himself as Junsu just looked utterly perplexed by the shove, sitting absolutely still. Changmin apologized and rubbed his face. “I don’t like it when anyone is above me,” he explained.
Understanding touched Junsu’s eyes and he nodded. “Let’s relocate then, hm?”
Changmin felt the rest of his resolve topple to the ground as Junsu helped him up. “Should we get more comfortable?” he asked as Junsu blushed again. Changmin rather liked it when he did that. “I would like to see you in a hakama, but yukata are far more comfortable.”
Surprised by the suggestion, Junsu agreed and let Changmin change him into one of the smaller ones he’d hidden in the back of his wardrobe since it didn’t fit, and he’d been too lazy to give it to the laundry staff. Once he had it securely on Junsu’s body, he tied the belt and stepped back feeling content, much better than twenty minutes ago. Junsu was all embarrassment and modesty, so Changmin told him he looked good, and the embarrassment increased tenfold with a laugh to go with it. It made Changmin feel light. He drew Junsu over to the bed and the two laid on it together, facing one another so they could talk quietly. It was all considered practice if Junsu spoke in Japanese, right?
Then, at some point, they lapsed into silence and Changmin found Junsu’s hands very interesting. Junsu threaded their fingers together and pulled him closer, and Changmin could feel Junsu’s nervousness and shyness melting away for curiosity and eagerness again. It was a heady feeling, and Changmin wasn’t surprised when Junsu kissed him again, the younger vampire’s feelings affecting him more than he realized. Changmin decided he liked it and that using his lips counted as practice in some mixed up universe. In all of his life, he couldn’t remember one moment he’d been happier than that very moment.
He didn’t know about Junsu, but he wanted to remember that moment forever.
~***~
you can look up hakama and yukata on wiki if you're confused. also, been drawing a little, but mostly i came up with a great long plot for after this fic, and even outlined it. then yesterday, another more difficult plot came to me, but that one won't be for a while. lots of plots running around in my head now. oh dear. comments are ♥!
Part 11
Author: LotusBeauty
Rating: R to NC-17
Pairings: Min+Su, Min+Kumi
Genre: AU, fantasy, romance/drama/emo (lots of emo)
Summary: Prequel to Feel and Redefine. This arc encompasses Changmin’s past; how he became a vampire and how he and Junsu met.
Notes: You don’t have to read the other two before you read this, but it would probably be a good idea to have some general vampire myths down.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never were.
Prologue
1: Cold
2: A Beautiful Lie
3: Haunted
4: Crawling
5: Away from the Sun
6: Daylight
7: Right Where it Belongs
8: Name
9: Thief
Part 10: Remember
Returning after his first trip had been normal, as Junsu was clearly training himself to follow a routine. Changmin knew this, and found himself looking forward to Junsu’s second return.
When he arrived after his second trip, Junsu offered a skein of silk to Kame, whose only response was that it wouldn’t be accepted as part of his payment. Junsu told Kame it was a gift, which Kame graciously accepted. When asked if he’d thought of a payment, Kame said he’d been considering a few, but had not yet decided. Junsu was clearly a bit frustrated, and Kame liked that. Changmin told Junsu so, and he said he had expected it. Kame’s greed was predictable. While Changmin had been reporting to Kame about Junsu, there wasn’t really much to tell. Junsu really was a traveler and the revelation bored Kame.
On his third return, Junsu gave Changmin a tooth from a tiger he’d killed while back in China. Curious, Changmin asked why. Junsu told him he’d used the tiger for blood and that he and a friend used to sell animal pelts as their income while living there. He’d done the same on his return trip apparently.
“No, I meant, why did you give me the tooth?” he’d asked again.
“Oh, well it’s the fang and I just figured you might like it,” Junsu had said with a shrug as Changmin looked it over again.
“Thanks,” he’d said quietly and set the tooth on his desk. No one had ever given him a gift without expecting something in return. He found himself glancing at it from time to time, and would refuse to think he liked it. It was just a damn tooth after all.
Changmin realized by the fourth return that he was looking forward to the times Junsu was in the coven. He had sought Junsu out on his last visit for company and knew that this time, he would want to spend even more time with Junsu. Ever since Junsu had said he would lend an ear to Changmin’s troubles, his resolve to keep everything to himself was crumbling. It would be nice to have someone to listen, just once, about how awful he felt about pretending to like everything Kame did to him. Kumi would never understand, she saw it as her duty because she was a spy and would never sympathize with his feelings.
“Hmm, I would have thought you’d be starting the hallways on fire.”
Changmin glanced up from his desk to see Kumi leaning on his doorway with a devious smirk. “And just what makes you think that?” he asked as he turned back to the book he was reading.
“Junsu is back.”
He froze and was out of his seat in an instant as he paused to plant a quick kiss on Kumi’s lips. “Thank you,” he murmured as he slipped past and down the hall.
Kumi sighed with a wistful smile. “So predictable.”
Changmin didn’t hear her as he was already five halls away and could sense where Junsu was. But when he closed the distance, he felt a wave of confusion and worry from the area and slowed to stop quietly at a corner. Kame was there—he could feel him—speaking to the other vampire.
“I have decided on a payment,” Kame’s voice floated down the hallway.
“Payment?” Junsu sounded wary.
“I haven’t asked for payment of your room and board yet. I’ve heard my pet Ishiko has taken an interest in you?” Kame suggested and by the sound, he seemed to be moving closer to Junsu.
“Has he? He is a good companion, speaking with me in Korean and helping in my Japanese,” Junsu replied neutrally, stumbling on a word or two. Changmin rolled his eyes in amusement, knowing Junsu was better than that.
“Hmm hmm,” Kame agreed with a nod. “Would you then agree to a payment to one of my servants? Maybe in the form of yourself?”
“I… excuse me?”
Changmin understood Kame’s meaning immediately and figured it was time he made his presence known. He slipped around the corner so that Kame could see him and noticed his master’s eyes light up at his appearance.
“Ah, Ishiko!” Kame waved an arm to beckon him. “Come here and help me convince Kim-san here.”
Without missing a beat, Changmin went straight to Kame’s side and let the vampire slip an arm around his waist and rested an arm on Kame’s shoulders, possessively to please his master. He didn’t miss the worry in Junsu’s eyes before it was hidden away. This was his position—the pet. He had to play the part, no matter how much he didn’t want to under Junsu’s gaze.
“You like our visitor yes?” Kame asked to receive a nod. “Would you like his company more? Maybe something more intimate?”
Changmin nodded and narrowed his eyes, as if to size up his friend while a smirk touched his lips. “Private lessons maybe?” Changmin suggested to get a content hum from his master. He knew exactly what Kame was thinking, just by the calculating feeling he was getting from the man. Changmin’s job was going to be to get close to Junsu to try to earn his trust before Kame would try to get him to join the coven permanently and swear his trust—and free will—to Kame. He knew it would take some time, but when you were a vampire, time meant nothing, especially to Kame. Changmin knew this well and knew that he would be able to take his time to get Junsu’s trust for himself. He could always make up excuses. His master didn’t take well to excuses, but Changmin would rather Kame take it out on him than be able to figure out how to break Junsu like he had himself.
“Private lessons!” Kame’s eyes danced deviously. “A fair exchange, you think? You keep teaching him Japanese and I rent him a room and you ask of him anything you like. How does that sound? You will make payment to my favorite pet here.” His grin reeked of greed and Changmin kept his mask of indifference tightly in place.
Junsu pursed his lips, contemplating the exchange before he nodded slowly. He had to know there was a catch that would come back to haunt him someday, but Changmin could tell Junsu was okay with that risk. “This sounds fair enough.” He glanced at Changmin. “I make all payments to him?”
“And he will report to me to ensure you make the payments,” Kame explained, his fingers lightly kneading the back of Changmin’s neck as Changmin leaned into the caress. “Right, Ishiko?”
“Correct,” Changmin let himself purr at his master who smiled contentedly and ran his fingers through the back of Changmin’s hair.
“I trust you’ll find something to occupy yourselves,” Kame’s order was not missed by Changmin who let the vampire slip from his arms as he made his way down the hall to turn the corner with a smirk. Changmin couldn’t help but wonder what made Kame think he’d suddenly won. He had to know he couldn’t trust them completely. Maybe that was part of his plan.
“And what kind of payment do you want today?”
Changmin glanced over to Junsu and gave him a quiet shrug. “Some conversation?”
Junsu considered him with a measuring look and Changmin could feel the uncertainty. “Do you always act—”
Changmin cut him off by holding a finger to his own lips and motioned for Junsu to follow. He led the young vampire back to his room and closed the door to make sure no one was listening. “Prying ears,” he told Junsu who nodded. “I assume you were going to ask why I always act like that around Kame?” Changmin glanced away when Junsu nodded again. “If I don’t, there are consequences.”
“From his proposition, can I guess you’re supposed to get close to me for information?” Junsu asked warily.
“Oh, I received that order when you arrived for the first time. Now I’m to seduce you into joining the coven.” Changmin replied and leaned back on the door. “It is clear that he wants you for himself.”
“And what do you think?”
Changmin might have smirked if he wasn’t going for dry humor. “Might take a while.” He shrugged and he felt relief from his friend as the room relaxed a degree. “I’d rather you not become his.”
“Because of what he is?” Junsu asked as he changed his stance. “What he’ll do?”
“What he’ll do to you is something I’d rather not have anyone else have to experience,” Changmin explained quietly as he noted the sympathy in Junsu’s eyes. “But, how do you know you can trust me?” Changmin asked warily, watching the vampire’s reaction of surprise, then understanding. “I might be working with Kame to capture you.”
“You hate him,” Junsu stated evenly as Changmin kept his gaze. “I can see it in your eyes. He thinks it is desire and devotion, but I can see that it is hatred for what he has made you.”
He couldn’t have put it better, Changmin thought as he glanced away. “You trust me?”
“You and Koda-san are the only ones I can trust,” he admitted quietly.
“Why are you here?” Changmin asked, confused. “I thought you were posing as a traveler that was supposed to spy on Kame, but now I don’t know what your purpose is.”
Junsu opened his mouth as if he was going to say something and closed it again, uncertainty in his features. “I’m not sure.”
“You were sent here and you don’t know why?” Changmin frowned. This was getting more puzzling by the second.
“It’s difficult to explain,” Junsu murmured.
“Well, we’ve got time.” Changmin pulled a chair out and sat as Junsu contented himself by leaning on the wall next to the door.
“What’s your position in this place?” Junsu asked suddenly. “No one will talk about you directly, but I’m always hearing about Kamenashi’s pet.”
With a sigh, Changmin sat back against his chair. “I am Kame’s pet, it’s true. But I’m also his truthseer.”
“You can tell when people are lying?” he asked as Changmin nodded. “How does it work?”
“Well, my power isn’t just to see the truth,” Changmin admitted quietly. “I’m an empath.”
“Emotions?” Junsu frowned then looked away and muttered something about emotional transfer. “And it came to you after you were turned?”
Changmin frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?” Everyone knew latent abilities surfaced during the change.
“When were you changed? What happened when you were?” Junsu asked suddenly.
Changmin balked at the question and looked away, refusing to remember that day. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
Junsu frowned. “I thought you wanted conversation.”
“I don’t want to talk about it!” he snapped and stood, trying to hold his anger. “It’s none of your damned business.”
Junsu glanced away without a change to his expression, but Changmin could still feel his hurt, and then determination. “What did you do before you came here?” he changed the subject.
Changmin stood infuriated. “Why are you asking me this?”
“Well, what else are we going to talk about?” Junsu shot him a look that made him step back in surprise.
“I don’t understand,” Changmin frowned in confusion. Junsu was usually so easygoing. What made him so unexpectedly insistent?
“Who is the real Changmin?” Junsu asked quietly this time. “How am I supposed to know you’re being genuine without knowing who you are?” He advanced on Changmin until he fell back into the chair. “You’re always hiding behind a mask of indifference and hiding all of your emotions. If we’re going to talk, I want to know the real Changmin that no one else knows. I can’t get to know some wall that doesn’t feel any emotions at all!”
“I feel! I feel everything that everyone feels because of my goddamn power!” Changmin defended angrily. “How else can I live with feeling everything but try to block them and myself out!”
“At the cost of your own emotions? I can feel your mind screaming out in pain and anger at what’s been done to you, and yet you won’t talk about it because you’re scared?” Junsu accused, and Changmin panicked, thrusting his hands out to push Junsu away, but he used too much power, and watched in shock as Junsu flew back to hit the wall with a thud. Junsu scrambled to regain his footing and coughed, droplets of blood hitting the floor.
Horrified by his actions, Changmin fell back into the chair, unable to speak. He’d never lost control of his emotions before and didn’t even know how to begin to apologize. “I—I’m …sorry…” he murmured as Junsu wiped the blood from his chin. Junsu sighed and slid down the wall to sit on the floor as Changmin tried his best to keep from shaking in anger and fear.
“How am I to understand what you’ve been through if you won’t tell me about it?” he asked softly and Changmin felt his chest tighten. “You know I’m being genuine, Changmin. Help me understand. I want to understand.”
He didn’t know what to say or even how to say it if he could find anything worth saying. At least he understood what Junsu was doing. Here Junsu had been trying to provoke him into responding. “Provoking is probably the worst way to get a reaction out of me.”
“I still got one,” Junsu smirked and Changmin realized that he had indeed gotten one. “Though, Kumi thought it was a bad idea, I knew I had to get through to you in a way that made you react, or else I wouldn’t put the slightest crack in your wall.”
Changmin sighed in exasperation. “Stupid.” He got up and moved to join Junsu against the wall, sitting to Junsu’s left. “You didn’t have to. I was going to tell you anyway.”
Junsu shook his head. “No, you weren’t. You were going to ask about my life and listen to me talk without so much as offering anything about yourself. I would have talked for hours thinking I was getting to know you, but you wouldn’t be telling me a thing. We can make a deal instead. If you tell me something, I’ll tell you something,” he proposed.
That was way too easy and Changmin rolled his eyes as he started. “I like books.”
Junsu snorted. “No kidding,” he replied with a glance to the bookcase. “Why?”
“Tell me something you like,” Changmin demanded.
“You.”
He gaped at Junsu. “Er—what? Why?”
“Your turn.” Junsu grinned, avoiding.
Changmin ground his teeth in frustration. “Because I can escape in the books.”
“Because you make everything a challenge.” Junsu replied honestly as Changmin raised an eyebrow. “You always make me think and work for everything I do with you. Like when you’re teaching me Japanese, you don’t just give me the answer, you make me think and give the correct answer. I like someone who makes me think. I also like that you’re honest with me.”
After a moment of silence, “You told me a lot.”
“Your turn.” Junsu’s eyes caught his.
Changmin sighed and closed his eyes as he tried to think. He’d told Kumi at some point, but it was all hazy again. “I…” He opened his eyes to pull his knees up to his chin to rest it on them, his arms wrapping around his legs to hold them in place. “I don’t remember very well.”
“How long have you been here?”
“Nearly twenty years.” He heard Junsu curse in surprise. “It’s hard to remember.” He let his mind open up and stopped abruptly when Junsu scooted closer and put an arm around him. Forcing himself to relax, Changmin concentrated as he tried to think back. “I… used to work on a ship.”
“A ship?”
“A smuggling ship. I was good at helping to forge documents.”
“Does Kame have you do that?”
“No,” Changmin replied with a frown at Junsu. “He’s got staff enough for that.”
“So, all you do is tell him when people are lying?” Junsu shook his head. “It seems out of character for him not to use everything you have to offer.”
“I never told him I was an empath,” Changmin replied, a tingle of pride deep down.
“Really?” Junsu seemed intrigued. “Why?”
Amusement bubbled up in his chest, but he played it straight faced. “He never asked.” He waited for Junsu to laugh before he continued. “Promise you won’t tell him about my empathy. I don’t know what he’d use me for if he found out, but I’ve managed to keep him in the dark about it for so long and I’d like it to stay that way.”
“Tell him about what?” Junsu asked with an innocent smile and Changmin had a feeling this was going to get interesting.
The two spent hours together as Junsu quietly prompted Changmin to pry open his memories and tell more about himself. He found it hard sometimes, as all of the things he’d been through had overwritten other memories while other things stood out as painful reminders as to why he was still alive. It was difficult and painful for him to explain his change into a vampire, but Junsu was nothing if not patient and encouraging. For all his bravado earlier, he was extremely kind and helpful when Changmin related some of his worst memories. Junsu’s arm would squeeze his shoulders and the vampire would wait in silence before prompting him to continue, and Changmin would do so, if only to rid himself of his demons. At some point, Junsu wiped tears from his face, and Changmin wasn’t even aware he was crying.
“I can see why you don’t want me here,” Junsu said softly as his thumb traced up and down Changmin’s shoulder. It felt nice.
“You really shouldn’t be here,” Changmin replied quietly. “It’s not a place you’d want to be.”
“You don’t want Kame to break me the way he broke you. You don’t want me to become his,” Junsu said it finally, confirming that they were on the same page. Well, so far anyway.
“Well, that and…” Changmin’s eyes flicked to his bed for a split second. “I… I’d rather you were mine,” he admitted quietly as he felt his face heat for the first time in so many years.
Junsu blinked before his cheeks colored slightly pink and he glanced away. “I’d like that much more.”
Changmin let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t feel or see any lying from the vampire next to him and was glad to know Junsu liked his companionship just as much as he liked this newcomer himself. But Junsu had to know there was a catch. “We can’t—”
“We can’t let anyone find out.” Junsu nodded solemnly. “I’m sorry for provoking you earlier.”
“You said if you didn’t, then other things would happen. But I’d never thought about just listening. Why would you say that?” Changmin asked quietly.
Junsu was silent for a moment, before he spoke quietly. “It’s very dangerous for me to admit this. Kumi doesn’t even know.” Junsu paused as she shifted to face Changmin and look him in the eyes. “I have foresight.”
Changmin sat up straight, panic seeping into his mind. “You can see—why the hell are you in this coven? You need to get the hell out before Kame finds out and tries to use it!” he hissed.
Junsu shook his head. “He’s not important.”
“Well then why the hell are you here?” Changmin demanded. “There must be a damn good reason.”
“I came for you.”
Changmin stared in bewilderment. “Me?” Junsu radiated embarrassment and Changmin realized this wasn’t something he wanted to admit.
“I… I had visions of you,” he admitted quietly.
“Visions?” Now Changmin was hitting his limit on believing.
“When I told you I didn’t know why I was here, it’s true. I’ve been having visions of you for over seven years,” Junsu told him, and from what he could feel and see, Junsu was telling the truth.
“But, why me?” It didn’t make any sense.
“I don’t know! I started getting the visions a few years after I was turned. At first they were just images. Then when I figured out I had foresight, I trained myself to find your timeline and watch it where my power would let me.”
Changmin felt the fear shiver up his spine. “What did you see?”
“Mostly just mundane tasks at first. It was a while before I had a nightmare,” Junsu answered softly.
“You saw Kame,” Changmin guessed to watch Junsu nod.
“I saw a great many things that he did to you, and the emotional transfer was overwhelming.” Junsu pursed his lips together, as if trying not to cry.
“So that’s what you meant when you said that.” Changmin shook his head. “But if you knew, why make me tell you?”
“Because you needed to learn to trust me yourself. In a way, I really do understand what you’ve been through, even if I’ve only witnessed it.” He paused as he bit his lip. “It was painful to watch and know I couldn’t do anything to help. But I was determined to find you, and find a way to help you if I could.” Junsu looked up to catch Changmin’s eyes, and the feelings that they held blew him away. “Even if right now you can’t face them, someday I want you to be able to remember these things and be strong enough so that they don’t defeat you anymore. And I’m going to help you every step of the way.”
And then Changmin could feel his walls crumbling, because someone understood him—someone really understood. He wasn’t alone anymore. He hadn’t felt pain and relief like this in so long, he couldn’t even begin to find the strength to stop it. He fell apart right there against Junsu as he sobbed. And Junsu just held him tightly, rocking slowly back and forth as he radiated caring and understanding. That was all Changmin ever really wanted, was for someone to understand him, and he’d finally found it in the arms of someone who wasn’t afraid to help knock down all of his walls. He had to thank Junsu somehow.
“You should take your payment somehow tonight,” Junsu said softly when his tears had run out.
“Un,” Changmin grunted quietly as he untangled himself from Junsu. “Thank you.”
He froze when Junsu touched his chin and pulled him closer to press a kiss to his lips. So surprised was he, that he didn’t even react. Junsu just smiled and moved to get up, but Changmin grabbed his shoulder pulled him back for another, his emotions running wild in his head, twisting and melting together as he finally kissed Junsu back. He’d only ever kissed Kumi before, but this was different—so very different. He’d never felt like this before. Junsu’s feelings for him weren’t helping his resolve at all, the kiss deepening as Changmin knew he didn’t want it to stop—couldn’t stop. That is, until Junsu shifted to climb into his lap, pushing him down and he immediately pulled out of the kiss to push Junsu off of him, unnerved by having someone atop him.
Panting in fear, Changmin took a moment to calm himself as Junsu just looked utterly perplexed by the shove, sitting absolutely still. Changmin apologized and rubbed his face. “I don’t like it when anyone is above me,” he explained.
Understanding touched Junsu’s eyes and he nodded. “Let’s relocate then, hm?”
Changmin felt the rest of his resolve topple to the ground as Junsu helped him up. “Should we get more comfortable?” he asked as Junsu blushed again. Changmin rather liked it when he did that. “I would like to see you in a hakama, but yukata are far more comfortable.”
Surprised by the suggestion, Junsu agreed and let Changmin change him into one of the smaller ones he’d hidden in the back of his wardrobe since it didn’t fit, and he’d been too lazy to give it to the laundry staff. Once he had it securely on Junsu’s body, he tied the belt and stepped back feeling content, much better than twenty minutes ago. Junsu was all embarrassment and modesty, so Changmin told him he looked good, and the embarrassment increased tenfold with a laugh to go with it. It made Changmin feel light. He drew Junsu over to the bed and the two laid on it together, facing one another so they could talk quietly. It was all considered practice if Junsu spoke in Japanese, right?
Then, at some point, they lapsed into silence and Changmin found Junsu’s hands very interesting. Junsu threaded their fingers together and pulled him closer, and Changmin could feel Junsu’s nervousness and shyness melting away for curiosity and eagerness again. It was a heady feeling, and Changmin wasn’t surprised when Junsu kissed him again, the younger vampire’s feelings affecting him more than he realized. Changmin decided he liked it and that using his lips counted as practice in some mixed up universe. In all of his life, he couldn’t remember one moment he’d been happier than that very moment.
He didn’t know about Junsu, but he wanted to remember that moment forever.
~***~
you can look up hakama and yukata on wiki if you're confused. also, been drawing a little, but mostly i came up with a great long plot for after this fic, and even outlined it. then yesterday, another more difficult plot came to me, but that one won't be for a while. lots of plots running around in my head now. oh dear. comments are ♥!
Part 11
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 11:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 12:32 pm (UTC)this fic is AMAZING ALREADY :D as long as this fic is going, i am very happy.
actaully- as long as you continue "our Song" series, ill be very happy :0
beautiful work as always ♥♥♥
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 07:58 am (UTC)thank you! i'm glad you're enjoying reading! :D
no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 02:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 03:52 pm (UTC)I'm really loving this, aw they're so cute together
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 05:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 07:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 06:07 pm (UTC)OMG THIS WAS AMAZING~!!!!!!!!
I'm so glad that Junsu managed to break down his walls...Changmin's been holding that in for so long...
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 07:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 06:16 pm (UTC)i love it...
the way junsu make min trust him....
really hope can see more ximin after this
thanx 4 da update
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 07:40 pm (UTC)update fast! i cant wait to know how their relationship will be going after this...
Tanx for this bb~
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-09 10:01 pm (UTC)thank you for this wonderful fic. <3
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-10 12:00 am (UTC)They are just to cute, and I love their interaction and how Junsu slowly got Changmin to open up to him ^^
Gah! I love this story so much, I can't wait for the next chapter ^^
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:02 am (UTC)thanks!
no subject
Date: 2010-02-16 08:04 am (UTC)This story is completely spazz worthy ;D haha
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Date: 2010-02-10 03:17 am (UTC)aw~ the minsu are so cute♥♥
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Date: 2010-02-16 08:02 am (UTC)thanks ^_^
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Date: 2010-02-23 08:11 am (UTC)sorry for only commenting now (i read the other ones in three days..since i'm sick -_-").
no subject
Date: 2010-05-09 02:08 pm (UTC)NUFF SAID XD