Suddenly – Part2
Feb. 12th, 2005 11:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lotus_beautyTitle: Suddenly – Part2: The Right Words
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lotus_beauty
Genre: J-pop/rock
Pairings: GacktxYou
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Gackt and You realize what is really important for them.
Warnings: shounen-ai, yaoi, m/m
Notes: Second of three parts, some is crossed over with the last part, but it is in Gackt’s POV this time.
Part2: The Right Words
“Gackt?” A frantic voice on the phone asked. The singer rolled his eyes—his publicist. What did they want now?
“Yes? What is it?”
“You might want to sit down for this.” Whoever it was sounded scared. Gackt froze in fear, wondering what could have the man sounding like this.
“Just tell me.” Gackt told him. “Out with it.”
“It's You. He's been in an accident.”
Gackt’s stomach dropped about 50 floors to the bottom of the building.
“A man ran a red light and hit his motorcycle going pretty fast. They said the crash was bad,” the publicist told him.
Gackt couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. His best friend was in an accident? This wasn’t happening.
“Gackt, you need… I don’t want you…” the man’s voice faded away as dread filled Gackt’s mind.
Nononononono—This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening! It can’t happen, it can’t happenitcan’thappen!! Gackt’s squeezed his eyes shut as his body began to shake in fear. Why was this happening? Especially, to the one person he loved most in his life! Why, God, why was this happening?
“Hello? Hello!” He heard the voice on the phone call, but he couldn’t move an inch. He just stood there shaking uncontrollably, his eyesight turning blurry as tears welled up and coursed down his cheeks. As he fell to his knees, one of his bodyguards caught him and asked what was wrong, the other taking the phone and speaking into it.
The singer shook in horror against his bodyguard as various images of his best friend dead or in a casket flashed in his mind. He couldn’t take it. “AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” he screamed in anger and terror, his distraught voice echoing throughout the apartment as he wept loudly and openly in pain, clinging to his bodyguard’s arm. He still shook and winced when his other bodyguard relayed to the one holding him what happened. The man swore in shock.
“Gackt? Gackt, look at me,” he tried to get the singer’s attention.
“I-I w-want to go…” Gackt turned to his bodyguards, looking completely helpless. “I have to go!”
“Nonono,” the one holding him caught him as he tried to get up. “You can’t.”
“Please,” the singer begged pathetically. He never begged. He had to see if You was alright.
“We can’t let you go tearing into a hospital. The press will go crazy if they see you.” The man standing told him quietly. “We’ll go for you. We’ll let you know if anything happens, okay?”
“But—” Gackt tried to convince them but they assured him that if the situation was desperate, they would get him to the hospital as soon as possible. The singer finally gave up and let them leave, letting them out the door before leaning on the door, crying again in frustration. How could this happen?
He wandered numbly to the glass doors of the balcony and fell to his knees in front of them. Glancing at his reflection in the windows, he could see the trails of tears down his cheeks plainly. He stared at them dazed, suddenly too emotionally drained to think. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there staring at the moon, but it was long enough that the satellite had moved across the sky a bit.
Someone and touched his shoulder. “Gacchan?”
He jumped and looked up at the female voice to see Mika, a shocked look on her face. He wanted to tell her, but the fear froze his voice.
“What is it?” She asked quietly, a shake in her voice as she wiped his tears from his cheeks. He didn’t move an inch. He didn’t want to move; he wanted to cling to someone and trust them at that moment. Unfortunately, the person he wanted wasn’t there. He just looked away, more tears running down his cheeks. “Come on.” She gently tugged on the singer’s arm. “Let’s go sit on the couch. The floor here is cold.” Her quiet urging managed to get Gackt up off of the floor and over to the couch where he sat with his head in his hands, his phone clutched in one of them. He could tell that she was nervous, but he couldn’t figure out how to tell her without completely breaking down again.
He breathed a silent sigh of relief as Mika got up and went into the kitchen. The singer looked taken aback when he saw the cup being held out to him a few minutes later. He gave her a grateful look and took it, sipping at it quietly as she sat on the couch next to him. Mika clearly wasn’t about to give up. She rubbed his back gently as his tears seemed to subside. As she reached for a box of tissues from a side table, his tears came back in full force and she bit her lip, offering the box to him. Gackt took a few and blew his already red nose and wiped at his bloodshot eyes.
“Gacchan…” she trailed off as he looked up at her again. She looked afraid when he looked at her. He hadn’t realized how scared he looked until that moment and just blurted it out.
“He got into an accident.”
He didn’t have to say any more than that. He knew that Mika would understand and fell silent again. She carefully pried the cell phone from Gackt’s grip and pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly as he gripped her shoulders. He was surprised at how brave she was, to pull him into a hug like that when he might push her away. He felt a little guilty as she started crying. You wasn’t just his friend, he was Mika’s friend too. Gackt had told her that they were soulmates, and that he wouldn’t be able to go on if You wasn’t with him. He wondered if she was scared for You, scared for him, or scared for both of them. It didn’t matter though, because at least they both had someone to be scared with and not feel so alone.
They sat there for what seemed for hours. Mika rubbed Gackt’s back gently as his fingers clung to her sleeves, the silence thick around them. He didn’t care if he seemed weak for clinging to her like this. He needed it.
“Nobody was home.” His voice was deadpan—he didn’t mean for it to be.
“Hm?” Her hands stopped at his abrupt speech.
“I sent the bodyguards home, because I wanted to be alone. I thought he would be here. There was nobody home.”
“You wanted to be alone with him?” She asked, rubbing his back again.
Gackt nodded. “I wanted to try to say the right thing this time, but he wasn’t here. And then I got a call…”
Mika nodded silently.
“They said he’d been in an accident. I… I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to go but they stopped me.” He closed his eyes and wished he could have gone.
“Your bodyguards?”
“They said people would wonder what I was rushing to a hospital for. They went there instead of me. They said they’d call if they found out anything.”
He shifted and they both looked down at the phone. It didn’t make a sound.
The doorbell went off, causing the two to jump in alarm. Mika let go of the singer and went to answer the door. As she did so, Gackt grabbed another tissue and wiped at his watery eyes again, blowing his nose as well before looking up to see Mika letting go of a familiar figure. He stared in disbelief as You limped toward him, looking torn and beat up. The guitarist sat down beside him and Gackt acted on impulse, hugging him tightly, not wanting to let go. He felt You wince, but that didn’t stop the guitarist’s arms from wrapping around him as well.
When they pulled apart, Gackt did damage assessment, taking note of You’s torn clothing as well as his bruises. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, almost scared to ask.
“Yeah.” You nodded as Gackt noticed that his left arm was empty and touched it curiously. “Everyone who witnessed it thought I should have been dead, with how fast the car was going, and how he hit me,” You told the him.
“What is it?” Mika asked as she approached, having noted the singer’s peculiar actions.
“His bracelet is gone.” Gackt touched his wrist lightly, turning it over to look at it.
“I asked the cops and paramedics. They couldn’t find it anywhere.” You shook his head.
“Do you want some tea? Or some noodles?” Mika asked the guitarist politely.
“Tea would be really nice.” He smiled a little and she nodded, hurrying off to the kitchen.
“I thought I almost lost you,” Gackt murmured when his assistant left the room.
“I thought I was going to die…” the guitarist looked into his eyes, the singer seeing how painted You’s looked. Gackt opened his mouth to try and say something, anything, but it seemed that his voice didn’t want to work, so he just pulled You into another hug, squeezing him tightly.
“I was hoping to spend the night alone with you, so that we could talk.” Gackt rested his cheek on the guitarist’s shoulder and squeezed him.
“I’m sorry,” You replied with a sigh.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I don’t know if I’d be able to go on without you,” the singer admitted.
“I know,” the violinist nuzzled Gackt’s hair with his cheek as the singer’s eyes closed.
The two held one another for a few moments before Mika returned with a cup for the guitarist. He thanked her politely as the two men broke from their hug and You sipped at his tea.
“I’ll be on the computer if you need me,” she told them and received nods from both of them before retreating there.
Gackt watched her go before looking to You again. “I’m sorry.”
You shook his head. “I shouldn’t have been so mean to you lately.”
“It’s my fault that we were fighting,” the singer tried to take the blame and went silent as You looked at him.
“We both have reasons for blame, Gakuchan.” He took a sip of his tea and stared into it. “When I was lying on the ground after I’d been hit, I felt like I was going to pass out. But, then I thought of you and I told myself I had to stay awake so… so that I would be able to see you again.” He sighed shakily as tears slipped from his eyes.
Gackt took the cup from You as he started to shake a little, and put it on the table. “Ssh, it’s okay,” he said quietly squeezed You’s hands.
“I was so scared.” The guitarist squeezed his hands back. “I couldn’t bear the thought of making you cry and have to attend my funeral. I forced myself to stay awake because I wanted to see you smile again, because I had made you happy, not angry.” He smiled suddenly through his tears. “And don’t pretend you’re sorry, because I know you’re not.”
Gackt chuckled at the comment. He was glad they wouldn’t have to go over a fight that was so trivial. He reached up and wiped You’s tears away before pressing a kiss to his lips. “I don’t think that I could imagine a life without you at all. I tried. All I felt was empty.”
“I’m sorry that I scared you.” You nuzzled his nose and Gackt put a finger to his lips to quiet him.
“You’re my soulmate—my other half. I can’t live without you,” Gackt said honestly as he gazed into You’s eyes. He watched as the guitarist’s eyes softened and he smiled. Finally, he’d said the right words.
“Gakuchan, I don’t think I could live without you either.” He touched the singer’s cheek and pulled him close for a gentle kiss, nearly making Gackt melt. Unfortunately, Gackt melted against the wrong leg, resting his hand on You’s injured right leg, making him wince and pull out of the kiss.
“I’m sorry.” Gackt sat back and smiled apologetically. “Are you tired?”
“Just sore,” You admitted.
“Come on. Let’s go lay down.” The singer stood and helped his other half stand and limp his way back to Gackt’s bedroom.
Once they were in his room, Gackt pushed the door shut, not noticing much as it stayed open by a few centimeters. He was concentrating on You’s comfort level. The singer helped You take his sling off, and then slip his shirt off over his head. After some turning and twisting to avoid hurting his sprained arm, they managed to get the shirt off and tossed to the floor. Gackt pressed a kiss to the guitarist’s lips as he carefully took You’s pants off and tossed them away before stopping to look at the man. Bruises covered You’s body, probably from his fall, and dotted mostly his right side.
“You hit the pavement on your right?” Gackt asked as he was about to direct the guitarist to the bed, but he hesitated.
“Could you get my boxers too?” he asked quietly. The singer nodded and carefully slipped the last bit of clothing down You’s legs before helping him onto the bed. “Yeah, I think I did. Hell, the bruises are the evidence I guess.”
Gackt smiled and pulled his clothing off quickly, joining the taller man on the bed when he was stripped of his clothing. He pulled a sheet over them and settled on You’s left side, spooning up against his body as he kissed the guitarist’s cheek. “Are you sure you aren’t tired?”
You nodded. “Every time I close my eyes, I see the car coming toward me and I just want to put it out of my mind for a while,” he murmured.
“Don’t think about that,” Gackt scolded him quietly.
“What should I think about?” You asked as his left hand played with Gackt’s hair.
The singer shifted to prop himself up over the violinist’s body and smile down at him. “Think about how happy you were to come back to me,” he whispered.
As You smiled, the vocalist leaned down and nuzzled their noses together affectionately. “I’m very glad to have you here in my arms,” the guitarist reached up with his good arm and hugged the singer against his chest. Gackt smiled and slipped his arms under You’s body, appreciating every bit of his warmth as they held one another tightly.
Gackt pulled back to say something, but closed his mouth as he saw the look in You’s eyes. It wouldn’t have mattered if he’d said the right words anymore. They didn’t need any words.
to be continued? >>;
Author:
lotus_beautyGenre: J-pop/rock
Pairings: GacktxYou
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Gackt and You realize what is really important for them.
Warnings: shounen-ai, yaoi, m/m
Notes: Second of three parts, some is crossed over with the last part, but it is in Gackt’s POV this time.
Part2: The Right Words
“Gackt?” A frantic voice on the phone asked. The singer rolled his eyes—his publicist. What did they want now?
“Yes? What is it?”
“You might want to sit down for this.” Whoever it was sounded scared. Gackt froze in fear, wondering what could have the man sounding like this.
“Just tell me.” Gackt told him. “Out with it.”
“It's You. He's been in an accident.”
Gackt’s stomach dropped about 50 floors to the bottom of the building.
“A man ran a red light and hit his motorcycle going pretty fast. They said the crash was bad,” the publicist told him.
Gackt couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. His best friend was in an accident? This wasn’t happening.
“Gackt, you need… I don’t want you…” the man’s voice faded away as dread filled Gackt’s mind.
Nononononono—This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening! It can’t happen, it can’t happenitcan’thappen!! Gackt’s squeezed his eyes shut as his body began to shake in fear. Why was this happening? Especially, to the one person he loved most in his life! Why, God, why was this happening?
“Hello? Hello!” He heard the voice on the phone call, but he couldn’t move an inch. He just stood there shaking uncontrollably, his eyesight turning blurry as tears welled up and coursed down his cheeks. As he fell to his knees, one of his bodyguards caught him and asked what was wrong, the other taking the phone and speaking into it.
The singer shook in horror against his bodyguard as various images of his best friend dead or in a casket flashed in his mind. He couldn’t take it. “AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!” he screamed in anger and terror, his distraught voice echoing throughout the apartment as he wept loudly and openly in pain, clinging to his bodyguard’s arm. He still shook and winced when his other bodyguard relayed to the one holding him what happened. The man swore in shock.
“Gackt? Gackt, look at me,” he tried to get the singer’s attention.
“I-I w-want to go…” Gackt turned to his bodyguards, looking completely helpless. “I have to go!”
“Nonono,” the one holding him caught him as he tried to get up. “You can’t.”
“Please,” the singer begged pathetically. He never begged. He had to see if You was alright.
“We can’t let you go tearing into a hospital. The press will go crazy if they see you.” The man standing told him quietly. “We’ll go for you. We’ll let you know if anything happens, okay?”
“But—” Gackt tried to convince them but they assured him that if the situation was desperate, they would get him to the hospital as soon as possible. The singer finally gave up and let them leave, letting them out the door before leaning on the door, crying again in frustration. How could this happen?
He wandered numbly to the glass doors of the balcony and fell to his knees in front of them. Glancing at his reflection in the windows, he could see the trails of tears down his cheeks plainly. He stared at them dazed, suddenly too emotionally drained to think. He didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there staring at the moon, but it was long enough that the satellite had moved across the sky a bit.
Someone and touched his shoulder. “Gacchan?”
He jumped and looked up at the female voice to see Mika, a shocked look on her face. He wanted to tell her, but the fear froze his voice.
“What is it?” She asked quietly, a shake in her voice as she wiped his tears from his cheeks. He didn’t move an inch. He didn’t want to move; he wanted to cling to someone and trust them at that moment. Unfortunately, the person he wanted wasn’t there. He just looked away, more tears running down his cheeks. “Come on.” She gently tugged on the singer’s arm. “Let’s go sit on the couch. The floor here is cold.” Her quiet urging managed to get Gackt up off of the floor and over to the couch where he sat with his head in his hands, his phone clutched in one of them. He could tell that she was nervous, but he couldn’t figure out how to tell her without completely breaking down again.
He breathed a silent sigh of relief as Mika got up and went into the kitchen. The singer looked taken aback when he saw the cup being held out to him a few minutes later. He gave her a grateful look and took it, sipping at it quietly as she sat on the couch next to him. Mika clearly wasn’t about to give up. She rubbed his back gently as his tears seemed to subside. As she reached for a box of tissues from a side table, his tears came back in full force and she bit her lip, offering the box to him. Gackt took a few and blew his already red nose and wiped at his bloodshot eyes.
“Gacchan…” she trailed off as he looked up at her again. She looked afraid when he looked at her. He hadn’t realized how scared he looked until that moment and just blurted it out.
“He got into an accident.”
He didn’t have to say any more than that. He knew that Mika would understand and fell silent again. She carefully pried the cell phone from Gackt’s grip and pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly as he gripped her shoulders. He was surprised at how brave she was, to pull him into a hug like that when he might push her away. He felt a little guilty as she started crying. You wasn’t just his friend, he was Mika’s friend too. Gackt had told her that they were soulmates, and that he wouldn’t be able to go on if You wasn’t with him. He wondered if she was scared for You, scared for him, or scared for both of them. It didn’t matter though, because at least they both had someone to be scared with and not feel so alone.
They sat there for what seemed for hours. Mika rubbed Gackt’s back gently as his fingers clung to her sleeves, the silence thick around them. He didn’t care if he seemed weak for clinging to her like this. He needed it.
“Nobody was home.” His voice was deadpan—he didn’t mean for it to be.
“Hm?” Her hands stopped at his abrupt speech.
“I sent the bodyguards home, because I wanted to be alone. I thought he would be here. There was nobody home.”
“You wanted to be alone with him?” She asked, rubbing his back again.
Gackt nodded. “I wanted to try to say the right thing this time, but he wasn’t here. And then I got a call…”
Mika nodded silently.
“They said he’d been in an accident. I… I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to go but they stopped me.” He closed his eyes and wished he could have gone.
“Your bodyguards?”
“They said people would wonder what I was rushing to a hospital for. They went there instead of me. They said they’d call if they found out anything.”
He shifted and they both looked down at the phone. It didn’t make a sound.
The doorbell went off, causing the two to jump in alarm. Mika let go of the singer and went to answer the door. As she did so, Gackt grabbed another tissue and wiped at his watery eyes again, blowing his nose as well before looking up to see Mika letting go of a familiar figure. He stared in disbelief as You limped toward him, looking torn and beat up. The guitarist sat down beside him and Gackt acted on impulse, hugging him tightly, not wanting to let go. He felt You wince, but that didn’t stop the guitarist’s arms from wrapping around him as well.
When they pulled apart, Gackt did damage assessment, taking note of You’s torn clothing as well as his bruises. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly, almost scared to ask.
“Yeah.” You nodded as Gackt noticed that his left arm was empty and touched it curiously. “Everyone who witnessed it thought I should have been dead, with how fast the car was going, and how he hit me,” You told the him.
“What is it?” Mika asked as she approached, having noted the singer’s peculiar actions.
“His bracelet is gone.” Gackt touched his wrist lightly, turning it over to look at it.
“I asked the cops and paramedics. They couldn’t find it anywhere.” You shook his head.
“Do you want some tea? Or some noodles?” Mika asked the guitarist politely.
“Tea would be really nice.” He smiled a little and she nodded, hurrying off to the kitchen.
“I thought I almost lost you,” Gackt murmured when his assistant left the room.
“I thought I was going to die…” the guitarist looked into his eyes, the singer seeing how painted You’s looked. Gackt opened his mouth to try and say something, anything, but it seemed that his voice didn’t want to work, so he just pulled You into another hug, squeezing him tightly.
“I was hoping to spend the night alone with you, so that we could talk.” Gackt rested his cheek on the guitarist’s shoulder and squeezed him.
“I’m sorry,” You replied with a sigh.
“I’m glad you’re okay. I don’t know if I’d be able to go on without you,” the singer admitted.
“I know,” the violinist nuzzled Gackt’s hair with his cheek as the singer’s eyes closed.
The two held one another for a few moments before Mika returned with a cup for the guitarist. He thanked her politely as the two men broke from their hug and You sipped at his tea.
“I’ll be on the computer if you need me,” she told them and received nods from both of them before retreating there.
Gackt watched her go before looking to You again. “I’m sorry.”
You shook his head. “I shouldn’t have been so mean to you lately.”
“It’s my fault that we were fighting,” the singer tried to take the blame and went silent as You looked at him.
“We both have reasons for blame, Gakuchan.” He took a sip of his tea and stared into it. “When I was lying on the ground after I’d been hit, I felt like I was going to pass out. But, then I thought of you and I told myself I had to stay awake so… so that I would be able to see you again.” He sighed shakily as tears slipped from his eyes.
Gackt took the cup from You as he started to shake a little, and put it on the table. “Ssh, it’s okay,” he said quietly squeezed You’s hands.
“I was so scared.” The guitarist squeezed his hands back. “I couldn’t bear the thought of making you cry and have to attend my funeral. I forced myself to stay awake because I wanted to see you smile again, because I had made you happy, not angry.” He smiled suddenly through his tears. “And don’t pretend you’re sorry, because I know you’re not.”
Gackt chuckled at the comment. He was glad they wouldn’t have to go over a fight that was so trivial. He reached up and wiped You’s tears away before pressing a kiss to his lips. “I don’t think that I could imagine a life without you at all. I tried. All I felt was empty.”
“I’m sorry that I scared you.” You nuzzled his nose and Gackt put a finger to his lips to quiet him.
“You’re my soulmate—my other half. I can’t live without you,” Gackt said honestly as he gazed into You’s eyes. He watched as the guitarist’s eyes softened and he smiled. Finally, he’d said the right words.
“Gakuchan, I don’t think I could live without you either.” He touched the singer’s cheek and pulled him close for a gentle kiss, nearly making Gackt melt. Unfortunately, Gackt melted against the wrong leg, resting his hand on You’s injured right leg, making him wince and pull out of the kiss.
“I’m sorry.” Gackt sat back and smiled apologetically. “Are you tired?”
“Just sore,” You admitted.
“Come on. Let’s go lay down.” The singer stood and helped his other half stand and limp his way back to Gackt’s bedroom.
Once they were in his room, Gackt pushed the door shut, not noticing much as it stayed open by a few centimeters. He was concentrating on You’s comfort level. The singer helped You take his sling off, and then slip his shirt off over his head. After some turning and twisting to avoid hurting his sprained arm, they managed to get the shirt off and tossed to the floor. Gackt pressed a kiss to the guitarist’s lips as he carefully took You’s pants off and tossed them away before stopping to look at the man. Bruises covered You’s body, probably from his fall, and dotted mostly his right side.
“You hit the pavement on your right?” Gackt asked as he was about to direct the guitarist to the bed, but he hesitated.
“Could you get my boxers too?” he asked quietly. The singer nodded and carefully slipped the last bit of clothing down You’s legs before helping him onto the bed. “Yeah, I think I did. Hell, the bruises are the evidence I guess.”
Gackt smiled and pulled his clothing off quickly, joining the taller man on the bed when he was stripped of his clothing. He pulled a sheet over them and settled on You’s left side, spooning up against his body as he kissed the guitarist’s cheek. “Are you sure you aren’t tired?”
You nodded. “Every time I close my eyes, I see the car coming toward me and I just want to put it out of my mind for a while,” he murmured.
“Don’t think about that,” Gackt scolded him quietly.
“What should I think about?” You asked as his left hand played with Gackt’s hair.
The singer shifted to prop himself up over the violinist’s body and smile down at him. “Think about how happy you were to come back to me,” he whispered.
As You smiled, the vocalist leaned down and nuzzled their noses together affectionately. “I’m very glad to have you here in my arms,” the guitarist reached up with his good arm and hugged the singer against his chest. Gackt smiled and slipped his arms under You’s body, appreciating every bit of his warmth as they held one another tightly.
Gackt pulled back to say something, but closed his mouth as he saw the look in You’s eyes. It wouldn’t have mattered if he’d said the right words anymore. They didn’t need any words.
to be continued? >>;
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-02-12 09:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-16 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-12 09:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-16 08:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-15 02:39 pm (UTC)to be continued? >>;
=O It better be! xD Lovelove <33
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Date: 2005-02-16 08:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-17 03:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-02-15 05:55 pm (UTC)Oh yeah! Please! Continue it ^^
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Date: 2005-02-16 08:12 pm (UTC)