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lotus_beautyTitle: Discretion
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lotus_beauty
Rating: PG-13/R
Pairings: ot3-ish
Warnings: AU, angst, slash, sickness/throwing up
Summary: See Part 1
Disclaimer: w-inds. are not mine. Woe.
Discretion 1: Infatuation
Discretion 2: Determination
Discretion 3: Situation
Discretion 4: Continuation
Discretion 5: Intoxication
Discretion 6: Confusion
“OW!!” Keita rubbed his arm and glared at Ken who was grinning as he wound his towel up again. “What was that for?”
“You were off in your head again.” He never stopped grinning as Keita felt himself blushing. Ken started to snicker and the young man knew he didn’t even have to elaborate on his thoughts—they’d been naughty enough as it was.
“Sorry,” the brunette said amused as he rubbed his arm. “Was Ryohei a handful?” He asked, remembering how the blonde had been hanging on Ken as they waited for a cab. Keita had been polite and found a light pole to lean against.
“You have no idea.” Ken threw up his hands. “He was rambling on about what he did in the bathroom.”
“What.” Keita stared in horror at the other man, who just laughed. He actually told Ken about that? Ryohei must have been drunker than he’d thought.
“How’s your lip? Ryohei said you tripped and hit it on something,” the goalie said with a wink.
“Yeah.” Keita couldn’t help but smile before he touched his lip. It was still a little sore, but it was healing alright. He hoped he’d never have to do that again. It had been rather difficult to eat and drink yesterday because of the small wound. He almost felt that biting it two days ago was worth it for what he got in return.
“Hey guys!” Ryohei called as he walked in, smacking Ken on the shoulder and ruffling Keita’s hair, as he often did almost every day. He went straight to his locker, humming as he got ready for practice.
Ken frowned and looked at Keita curiously, who was just as confused as the other man. “Is it just me…” he muttered to the younger man.
“Yeah,” Keita replied as they looked at the smaller blonde man. He wondered why Ryohei was acting so normal.
Ryohei turned to say something and stopped at their looks at him. “What?” He looked at himself and then back at them in bewilderment.
“Are you okay?” Ken asked cautiously.
“Yeah, I’m… Whoa, Tachi-kun, what happened to your lip?” he asked incredulously.
The brunette was taken aback by the question. Was he serious? He had no idea how to say: Oh well, Chiba-kun, you were sucking me off and I bit my lip to stay quiet. Don’t you remember? Yeah, that would go over well. It was one thing for Ken to pretend something else happened so no one would hear, but it was quite another to have Ryohei act like nothing had happened at all. Had he forgotten?
Ryohei shrank down a bit as he asked, “Did I do something wrong?” He looked to Keita. “I didn’t do that to you at the bar, did I?”
They just stared as Keita’s stomach fell to his feet. Did he really forget all about it? He couldn’t have forgotten!
“Did I?” Ryohei was anxious now.
Keita shook his head vigorously, finding that his voice wouldn’t work.
“What happened?” Now the blonde was worried.
“N-nothing.” Keita swallowed, trying to wet his dry throat as he stood and walked away, unable to say anything else. He could hear Ken hissing at Ryohei as he walked away, but he didn’t pay attention. God, how could he have been so stupid? They’d been drunk. He knew people did crazy things when they were drunk. He couldn’t have known if Ryohei would black out parts of the night, but… somehow what they had done meant something to him—more than something. He mentally cursed himself for getting so attached to the blonde in such a short amount of time. No, not short—long. He’d been feeling this for Ryohei for so long. Why had he given in the other night? He could have stopped the blonde. He knew Ryohei was drunk—he had been drunk as well. The memory of that night replayed in his mind and he desperately pushed it out of his mind. He just couldn’t take it.
“Tachi-kun?”
His thoughts disrupted, he turned to see that the blonde had followed him and froze.
“Are you okay?” he asked concerned, his eyes made that plainly clear.
Keita closed his eyes to gather his thoughts, trying to push his emotions away. “I’m… I’m fine senpai. I just need to think.” He could see the hurt in Ryohei’s eyes at the formal nickname and couldn’t handle it. He turned and walked away before the look on the blonde’s face could do anything else to his shredded emotions. God, he felt like such a girl. And somehow, now he also felt like a jerk.
After that, practice was an absolute disaster. He wasn’t able to concentrate at all with Ryohei’s missing memory at the back of his mind. He had tripped far too many times to count and was just generally in a bad mood. After swearing not to let his feelings for the blonde to rule him while he was in the game, this was a major blow to him. If he couldn’t control his feelings on the field, he wasn’t a good player at all. He needed to get this under control before it completely ruined him. It couldn’t be all bad right? Maybe he and Ryohei could talk about it after practice. Maybe he’d finally get the chance to confess his feelings for the blonde.
Being hopeful had always been Keita’s strong suit. He could still feel distress and gloom, but he was good at looking at the bright side of things. Well, that was until today when he could barely get the ball before having it easily stolen from one of his teammates. Even Ryohei had easily gone up against Keita without as much as a blink. It was so frustrating—infuriating even!
Finally, the coach had gotten fed up and called Keita to sit out for a while. He yelled at the brunette, asking what the hell was wrong with him. When Keita apologized, the coach just sighed and told him to get his head straightened out, because he knew he was a talented player. Keita didn’t know what to tell him. The comment had been far kinder than what he’d expected, but it didn’t make him feel much better.
As he retreated toward the bench to sit down and sort out his thoughts, he heard a yell from behind him, but it was too late. He felt a hard smack to the back of his head and was knocked off balance, going straight down into the corner of the bench. Suddenly, all he could feel was a sharp, stabbing pain on the right of his forehead. Curling up on the ground, his mind screamed out in pain as his hands tried to cover his forehead in response. All he could see was stars as hands tugged his away and rolled him onto his back. It was Ryohei. He was saying something, but Keita couldn’t hear what it was, nor could he see the blonde very well. The pain in his forehead was too much.
Dizzy and confused, he tried to speak, to ask what was going on, but when he did, it was like time stopped. He couldn’t control his body and felt hands instantly grab his limbs and body to hold them down. What the hell was going on?! In his haze of dizziness, pain and confusion, everything moved so slowly. He could however focus on the fact that Ryohei was talking to him, saying something about awake, but it just didn’t make any sense.
Everything was a blur after that. He could see people moving around him, people he didn’t know. They put him on something and then Ryohei was there again. He was talking quietly to Keita as the strangers kept doing things. What those things were, he wasn’t sure, since all he seemed to be able to concentrate on were the blonde’s dark eyes, gazing at him in worry. He wished he knew what was going on and why it was making Ryohei look like that.
It wasn’t long before he was moving again, and Ryohei disappeared. Just as he started to wonder where the blonde had gone, the world slipped away from him and everything went black. If a person were to ask Keita how he felt at that moment, or what he remembered, he might answer that he couldn’t remember but also never feeling so detached from his body before in his entire life. This scared him more than anything, but he also felt very calm for some odd reason. Maybe it was because for most of the time he’d been in and out of consciousness, he often felt a hand holding his and it comforted him more than he realized.
The one time he managed to claw his way back to consciousness, he felt dizzy, groggy and generally nauseous. He had to force himself to open his eyes and even then, they didn’t want to open until he put all of his willpower into it. He found that his head was turned to the right and that his room, wherever this was, was white, and rather bright. It was a terrible effort to keep his eyes open as he tried to assemble his thoughts. All he could see was Ryohei sitting in a chair, dozing. Why was Ryohei sitting in a chair? That was all he remembered before he was slowly dragged back to the darkness.
~***~
Discretion 7: Attraction
This might be more than a crush, Ryohei thought to himself as he stared at the blanket covering Keita’s legs. After their shopping adventure a little while ago, Ryohei couldn’t get his mind off of the younger man. He’d told himself it was because he thought Keita was so cute, and laughed it off. When Keita got flustered after catching him, and the thing at burger place, he just looked so cute when he blushed. Ryohei found it extremely endearing and he didn’t want to ruin it, so he never said anything. He realized it seemed a bit devious though, which also amused him at the time. He didn’t mean for it to seem like he was planning on playing innocent, but when the opportunity presented itself, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to make Keita blush. He knew eventually that Keita would get used to the situations and teasing and it wouldn’t last much longer. He liked that innocent side of Keita. It made Keita, Keita.
Ryohei smiled a little and glanced up at the unconscious man. Innocent… maybe he wasn’t anymore. He sighed as his eyes wandered up to the window across from him and stared out of it blankly. It was time to rethink this all—again.
After leaving the bar two days ago, he’d stumbled up to his shared apartment of his own will, something he was rather proud of when Ken told him so later. After entering, he’d promptly flopped on the couch and started to nod off. It hadn’t been late when he’d come home, so when Ryuichi arrived later—how much later, he didn’t know—the sound had woken him and made him wonder where the hell he was. When he looked up, he saw a drunken Ryuichi with lipstick all over his collar. He’d watched as the singer promptly ripped the shirt off and wiped the lipstick off his face and said something to the effect of a wench that wouldn’t keep her hands off him and stalked away from the door.
Ryohei supposed Ryuichi was probably going to their bedroom. He decided that the singer wasn’t going to make it as he slipped off the couch and pounced the younger man, pinning him against the wall with a deep kiss. He could taste the alcohol on Ryuichi’s tongue. He then received a hasty comment about his kisses being a thousand times better than that chick and promptly dragged Ryuichi off to the bedroom. In the morning, they both had a headache the size of Tokyo. The singer claimed his was worse, but Ryohei wasn’t sure he cared as he nursed his head. Eventually, they curled up together, taking comfort in the shared pain and nausea. Ryohei didn’t bother remembering the rest of the day, because it had been the usual. Hell, at the time he wasn’t even sure he could remember that whole night correctly anyway. The next day—today—was more important.
He glanced at the clock to see the time was slowly ticking through the evening. With a sigh, he switched the hands with which he held Keita’s and again gazed out the window. He never let the Tachibana family see he was holding Keita’s hand, but he felt that the young man might feel comfortable with someone holding his hand, no matter who it was. Ryohei also wondered if he himself just needed something to hold onto. That morning had been an absolute disaster of epic proportions. He felt epic was a good word to describe it—he’d never seen anything like it.
Walking into the locker room he’d felt like any other day. He greeted his friends, ruffled Keita’s messy hair and went to get ready. He knew something had been wrong when Keita had walked away looking troubled. God, that was an understatement. He’d never seen the young man look that way.
A hard smack hit his head as he watched Keita walk away.
“Have you lost your marbles?!” Ken hissed.
“Maybe now I have,” Ryohei responded with a hiss. “What the hell was that for?”
Ken crossed his arms. “How can you possibly not remember??”
“What are you talking about?” the blonde snapped as Ken pulled him close and murmured into his ear. His eyes widened at what the goalie told him and when he was finished, Ryohei stared at him with wide eyes. “Are you…” he trailed off as images started tumbling back into his mind… Keita standing in the bathroom at the sink…
Him watching from behind…
“Oh my god,” He sat hard on the bench and held his head in his hands as flashes of the night entered his mind. He couldn’t remember all of it, which was the most frustrating part, but what he did remember was alarming, as well as interesting. Ryohei was surprised that he’d been so bold and almost wished he had the time to revel in ravaging the young man, but he realized that not remembering had obviously left Keita stunned and most probably hurt.
Dressing in a world record time, Ryohei ran after Keita only to be brushed off by the young man. He thought Keita needed time to think so he gave the young man space. Before practice started, he asked Ken if he had an opinion on it, and his friend agreed to help him stop Keita after practice so they could talk. Unfortunately, it never even happened. Keita had officially the worst practice he’d ever seen, and he’d seen a lot of things—people choking, people getting sick, but nothing was worse than this. The poor guy just couldn’t concentrate at all, so the coach pulled him out. And then it happened.
One of the guys kicked the ball at an odd angle and it sped straight for Keita as everyone yelled to watch out. He watched in alarm as the ball collided with Keita’s head, sending him down into a bench he’d been walking near. Ryohei never knew he could run as fast as he did when he ran for the young man, sliding on his knees the last five feet. Keita’s head had caught the bench at the worse angle, right in the corner. He pulled the young man’s hands away to see that he was bleeding and heard the coach yelling for a cell phone. Just then he noticed Keita’s eyes unfocused and started to roll up and so began talking to him, trying to get him to stay awake. Stay awake, he kept repeating; stay awake! At one point, he thought Keita might respond, but instead his body started to shake violently.
“He’s having a seizure!” Hayashi yelled as those around the young man held his body down to keep him from hurting himself. Ryohei did his best to hold Keita’s shoulder and arm down as he himself was shaking in fear. He’d never been so scared in his life, especially for someone else.
When the ambulance finally arrived, he’d demanded to go with Keita, and no one found reason to argue. The rest had been much a blur until the young man was finally taken away from him at the hospital. Ken arrived soon after with Ryohei’s things and change of clothes. One of the nurses had offered him a chance to take a shower in their break room and he took it gratefully. He swore it was the fastest shower he’d ever taken. After that, he and Ken had waited and told Keita’s family what happened when they arrived. The doctor appeared not long after that and informed everyone that Keita had a concussion and would most probably be fine. Ryohei was so relieved. They decided to keep Keita for observation in case anything happened and told them he was still unconscious, mostly because of the painkillers.
Ryohei sighed as he finally dismissed the memory. He’d volunteered to stay with Keita while his family finally left to get something to eat. Thinking back to the hospital food he’d scarfed down—which had been less than pleasant—he wondered when Ken was going to be back with his burger. Keita had been completely out this entire time, and it worried him. The doctor said it was the drugs, but it still worried the blonde. It led Ryohei back to his previous thought—this might be more than a crush.
He jerked in surprise when he felt the pressure on his hand increase, Keita’s hand squeezing his. Ryohei sat up and looked to the young man’s face to see him stirring and open his eyes with a dizzy look.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” he managed. Ryohei grabbed a metal bowl the nurse had instructed him to use if Keita was nauseous and held it up just in time as the young man leaned over the side of the bed and emptied his stomach into it. But it wasn’t over there. Keita’s body was wracked with dry heaves as he lay there, unable to control it. Ryohei tried his best to comfort the brunette as the spasms began to abate, running his fingers through the younger man’s hair in an effort to calm him. He bit his lip worried as Keita just lay there, shuddering as he breathed deeply, probably trying to get control over his body. He could just imagine how frightening it must feel.
“Water,” Keita finally croaked when the shudders were gone, and the blonde helped him sit up before pouring him a glass. He took a sip, swishing it in his mouth before spitting it in the bowl and then taking a few more swallows, leaving the glass half empty.
“Better?” Ryohei asked tentatively.
Keita tried to nod, stopping short as a look of pain crossed his face, a hand moving to his head. “Y-yes,” he stuttered through the pain. “W-what are you doing here?” he asked quietly as he lightly touched the bandage on his head. Ryohei took the moment to take the …stuff in the bowl to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet.
“I came with you in the ambulance,” he replied from the bathroom, wondering if Keita was still mad at him for forgetting.
“Really?” the brunette asked in surprise.
Ryohei nodded as he returned to the bedside. “Your family was here, but when you didn’t wake up, they decided to go eat and I told them I’d stay here.”
He watched as Keita’s eyes focused on his own hands. “You didn’t have to. Thank you.”
“That’s what friends do, right?” Ryohei asked to get a more careful nod from the young man, almost amused at his caution with his head.
“What happened?” he asked finally, looking to Ryohei. “I don’t remember much.”
The blonde toyed with the edge of Keita’s blanket as he related what happened from the time that he got hit with the ball until he woke up, leaving some of his emotions out of it. He didn’t want to look like too much of a pansy.
“Thanks for staying with me all that time.” Keita looked… dizzy and a little down.
“I feel like this is my fault,” he admitted.
“What? How??” the brunette protested. “You didn’t kick the ball!” He winced again and touched his head.
“Keita.”
Ryohei blushed and glanced away as the brunette stopped and stared at him. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so informal. It was certainly a switch to be the one blushing this time, but he didn’t care.
“I’m sorry I forgot.” He looked up to watch Keita look away and moved closer to carefully tilt his head back up. “I’m sorry.”
Keita tried to shake his head, only to look like he’d experienced a sharp pain. “No, i-it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let it get to me…” he trailed off, looking dizzy.
“It’s no one’s fault,” Ryohei said once Keita recovered. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’m sorry about forgetting. I still can’t remember much of what happened the other night.” He watched as the younger man blushed, causing him to smile. There was the Keita he knew.
“I guess I was just so shocked that you forgot…” he trailed off as they heard sounds outside the door and Ryohei recognized Keita’s sister’s voice.
“Your family must be back.” Thinking quickly, he leaned close to Keita and kissed his forehead. “It’s time for me to go.” He pulled back to see confusion and sadness mixed on the brunette’s face, so he ruffled the young man’s hair gently to earn a small smile. “Much better. We’ll talk later,” he said before turning to move to the door and peek out seeing Keita’s family chatting. For a moment he listened to Keita’s sister, Mai tell a story before she saw him peeking out and jumped in surprise.
“Ah, I didn’t see you there!” she said with a laugh.
“He’s awake,” Ryohei said as he pulled the door open and they poured into the room excitedly. Keita’s mother hugged him immediately and asked if he knew what year it was. Ryohei almost busted out laughing at that as he collected the few things he had with him. As he was about to leave, he stopped and waved, to which Keita acknowledged with a grateful smile and he left the room. The blonde commended himself for writing down the room’s phone number and decided he would call Keita later and ask how he was doing.
“Oh hey!” Ken said as he walked in the doors that Ryohei was approaching. “How come you’re leaving?”
“He woke up and his family is back,” the blonde smiled and took the bag of food Ken offered. “He should be fine.”
“Oh! Well, should I give you a ride home then?” the goalie turned to walk with Ryohei.
“I’d really appreciate it if you did,” he said sheepishly. “What did the coach have to say?”
“Well, not much since you probably would have fought anyone who wouldn’t have let you go with Keita,” Ken said nonchalantly as blood rushed to Ryohei’s face. “Ah, so he has rubbed off on you.”
“Shut up,” Ryohei replied and walked through the automating doors out into the twilight. “Where did you park?”
“What did you decide?”
Ryohei was caught off guard by the question, knowing immediately what Ken meant. “I…” He sighed, knowing his feelings had to be dealt with. “I don’t know.”
“You’re going to tell him right?” He looked expectant.
“Of course I am!” The blonde frowned. “What makes you think I wouldn’t?”
“Did you tell him about the bar?” Ken asked and crossed his arms.
“I…” Ryohei put his finger up, then stopped. “I have no idea.” He hadn’t realized he still had to tell Ryuichi about the entire story. He wondered how his lover would react.
Ken sighed dramatically. “Do you want me to come along?”
“No, no,” Ryohei shook his head. “Unless he starts beating me up, which wont happen any time soon, I think we’ll be fine.
“Well, don’t come crying to me when he refuses to give you sex for a week!” Ken ran as Ryohei started smacking him.
~***~
Author:
lotus_beautyRating: PG-13/R
Pairings: ot3-ish
Warnings: AU, angst, slash, sickness/throwing up
Summary: See Part 1
Disclaimer: w-inds. are not mine. Woe.
Discretion 1: Infatuation
Discretion 2: Determination
Discretion 3: Situation
Discretion 4: Continuation
Discretion 5: Intoxication
Discretion 6: Confusion
“OW!!” Keita rubbed his arm and glared at Ken who was grinning as he wound his towel up again. “What was that for?”
“You were off in your head again.” He never stopped grinning as Keita felt himself blushing. Ken started to snicker and the young man knew he didn’t even have to elaborate on his thoughts—they’d been naughty enough as it was.
“Sorry,” the brunette said amused as he rubbed his arm. “Was Ryohei a handful?” He asked, remembering how the blonde had been hanging on Ken as they waited for a cab. Keita had been polite and found a light pole to lean against.
“You have no idea.” Ken threw up his hands. “He was rambling on about what he did in the bathroom.”
“What.” Keita stared in horror at the other man, who just laughed. He actually told Ken about that? Ryohei must have been drunker than he’d thought.
“How’s your lip? Ryohei said you tripped and hit it on something,” the goalie said with a wink.
“Yeah.” Keita couldn’t help but smile before he touched his lip. It was still a little sore, but it was healing alright. He hoped he’d never have to do that again. It had been rather difficult to eat and drink yesterday because of the small wound. He almost felt that biting it two days ago was worth it for what he got in return.
“Hey guys!” Ryohei called as he walked in, smacking Ken on the shoulder and ruffling Keita’s hair, as he often did almost every day. He went straight to his locker, humming as he got ready for practice.
Ken frowned and looked at Keita curiously, who was just as confused as the other man. “Is it just me…” he muttered to the younger man.
“Yeah,” Keita replied as they looked at the smaller blonde man. He wondered why Ryohei was acting so normal.
Ryohei turned to say something and stopped at their looks at him. “What?” He looked at himself and then back at them in bewilderment.
“Are you okay?” Ken asked cautiously.
“Yeah, I’m… Whoa, Tachi-kun, what happened to your lip?” he asked incredulously.
The brunette was taken aback by the question. Was he serious? He had no idea how to say: Oh well, Chiba-kun, you were sucking me off and I bit my lip to stay quiet. Don’t you remember? Yeah, that would go over well. It was one thing for Ken to pretend something else happened so no one would hear, but it was quite another to have Ryohei act like nothing had happened at all. Had he forgotten?
Ryohei shrank down a bit as he asked, “Did I do something wrong?” He looked to Keita. “I didn’t do that to you at the bar, did I?”
They just stared as Keita’s stomach fell to his feet. Did he really forget all about it? He couldn’t have forgotten!
“Did I?” Ryohei was anxious now.
Keita shook his head vigorously, finding that his voice wouldn’t work.
“What happened?” Now the blonde was worried.
“N-nothing.” Keita swallowed, trying to wet his dry throat as he stood and walked away, unable to say anything else. He could hear Ken hissing at Ryohei as he walked away, but he didn’t pay attention. God, how could he have been so stupid? They’d been drunk. He knew people did crazy things when they were drunk. He couldn’t have known if Ryohei would black out parts of the night, but… somehow what they had done meant something to him—more than something. He mentally cursed himself for getting so attached to the blonde in such a short amount of time. No, not short—long. He’d been feeling this for Ryohei for so long. Why had he given in the other night? He could have stopped the blonde. He knew Ryohei was drunk—he had been drunk as well. The memory of that night replayed in his mind and he desperately pushed it out of his mind. He just couldn’t take it.
“Tachi-kun?”
His thoughts disrupted, he turned to see that the blonde had followed him and froze.
“Are you okay?” he asked concerned, his eyes made that plainly clear.
Keita closed his eyes to gather his thoughts, trying to push his emotions away. “I’m… I’m fine senpai. I just need to think.” He could see the hurt in Ryohei’s eyes at the formal nickname and couldn’t handle it. He turned and walked away before the look on the blonde’s face could do anything else to his shredded emotions. God, he felt like such a girl. And somehow, now he also felt like a jerk.
After that, practice was an absolute disaster. He wasn’t able to concentrate at all with Ryohei’s missing memory at the back of his mind. He had tripped far too many times to count and was just generally in a bad mood. After swearing not to let his feelings for the blonde to rule him while he was in the game, this was a major blow to him. If he couldn’t control his feelings on the field, he wasn’t a good player at all. He needed to get this under control before it completely ruined him. It couldn’t be all bad right? Maybe he and Ryohei could talk about it after practice. Maybe he’d finally get the chance to confess his feelings for the blonde.
Being hopeful had always been Keita’s strong suit. He could still feel distress and gloom, but he was good at looking at the bright side of things. Well, that was until today when he could barely get the ball before having it easily stolen from one of his teammates. Even Ryohei had easily gone up against Keita without as much as a blink. It was so frustrating—infuriating even!
Finally, the coach had gotten fed up and called Keita to sit out for a while. He yelled at the brunette, asking what the hell was wrong with him. When Keita apologized, the coach just sighed and told him to get his head straightened out, because he knew he was a talented player. Keita didn’t know what to tell him. The comment had been far kinder than what he’d expected, but it didn’t make him feel much better.
As he retreated toward the bench to sit down and sort out his thoughts, he heard a yell from behind him, but it was too late. He felt a hard smack to the back of his head and was knocked off balance, going straight down into the corner of the bench. Suddenly, all he could feel was a sharp, stabbing pain on the right of his forehead. Curling up on the ground, his mind screamed out in pain as his hands tried to cover his forehead in response. All he could see was stars as hands tugged his away and rolled him onto his back. It was Ryohei. He was saying something, but Keita couldn’t hear what it was, nor could he see the blonde very well. The pain in his forehead was too much.
Dizzy and confused, he tried to speak, to ask what was going on, but when he did, it was like time stopped. He couldn’t control his body and felt hands instantly grab his limbs and body to hold them down. What the hell was going on?! In his haze of dizziness, pain and confusion, everything moved so slowly. He could however focus on the fact that Ryohei was talking to him, saying something about awake, but it just didn’t make any sense.
Everything was a blur after that. He could see people moving around him, people he didn’t know. They put him on something and then Ryohei was there again. He was talking quietly to Keita as the strangers kept doing things. What those things were, he wasn’t sure, since all he seemed to be able to concentrate on were the blonde’s dark eyes, gazing at him in worry. He wished he knew what was going on and why it was making Ryohei look like that.
It wasn’t long before he was moving again, and Ryohei disappeared. Just as he started to wonder where the blonde had gone, the world slipped away from him and everything went black. If a person were to ask Keita how he felt at that moment, or what he remembered, he might answer that he couldn’t remember but also never feeling so detached from his body before in his entire life. This scared him more than anything, but he also felt very calm for some odd reason. Maybe it was because for most of the time he’d been in and out of consciousness, he often felt a hand holding his and it comforted him more than he realized.
The one time he managed to claw his way back to consciousness, he felt dizzy, groggy and generally nauseous. He had to force himself to open his eyes and even then, they didn’t want to open until he put all of his willpower into it. He found that his head was turned to the right and that his room, wherever this was, was white, and rather bright. It was a terrible effort to keep his eyes open as he tried to assemble his thoughts. All he could see was Ryohei sitting in a chair, dozing. Why was Ryohei sitting in a chair? That was all he remembered before he was slowly dragged back to the darkness.
~***~
Discretion 7: Attraction
This might be more than a crush, Ryohei thought to himself as he stared at the blanket covering Keita’s legs. After their shopping adventure a little while ago, Ryohei couldn’t get his mind off of the younger man. He’d told himself it was because he thought Keita was so cute, and laughed it off. When Keita got flustered after catching him, and the thing at burger place, he just looked so cute when he blushed. Ryohei found it extremely endearing and he didn’t want to ruin it, so he never said anything. He realized it seemed a bit devious though, which also amused him at the time. He didn’t mean for it to seem like he was planning on playing innocent, but when the opportunity presented itself, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to make Keita blush. He knew eventually that Keita would get used to the situations and teasing and it wouldn’t last much longer. He liked that innocent side of Keita. It made Keita, Keita.
Ryohei smiled a little and glanced up at the unconscious man. Innocent… maybe he wasn’t anymore. He sighed as his eyes wandered up to the window across from him and stared out of it blankly. It was time to rethink this all—again.
After leaving the bar two days ago, he’d stumbled up to his shared apartment of his own will, something he was rather proud of when Ken told him so later. After entering, he’d promptly flopped on the couch and started to nod off. It hadn’t been late when he’d come home, so when Ryuichi arrived later—how much later, he didn’t know—the sound had woken him and made him wonder where the hell he was. When he looked up, he saw a drunken Ryuichi with lipstick all over his collar. He’d watched as the singer promptly ripped the shirt off and wiped the lipstick off his face and said something to the effect of a wench that wouldn’t keep her hands off him and stalked away from the door.
Ryohei supposed Ryuichi was probably going to their bedroom. He decided that the singer wasn’t going to make it as he slipped off the couch and pounced the younger man, pinning him against the wall with a deep kiss. He could taste the alcohol on Ryuichi’s tongue. He then received a hasty comment about his kisses being a thousand times better than that chick and promptly dragged Ryuichi off to the bedroom. In the morning, they both had a headache the size of Tokyo. The singer claimed his was worse, but Ryohei wasn’t sure he cared as he nursed his head. Eventually, they curled up together, taking comfort in the shared pain and nausea. Ryohei didn’t bother remembering the rest of the day, because it had been the usual. Hell, at the time he wasn’t even sure he could remember that whole night correctly anyway. The next day—today—was more important.
He glanced at the clock to see the time was slowly ticking through the evening. With a sigh, he switched the hands with which he held Keita’s and again gazed out the window. He never let the Tachibana family see he was holding Keita’s hand, but he felt that the young man might feel comfortable with someone holding his hand, no matter who it was. Ryohei also wondered if he himself just needed something to hold onto. That morning had been an absolute disaster of epic proportions. He felt epic was a good word to describe it—he’d never seen anything like it.
Walking into the locker room he’d felt like any other day. He greeted his friends, ruffled Keita’s messy hair and went to get ready. He knew something had been wrong when Keita had walked away looking troubled. God, that was an understatement. He’d never seen the young man look that way.
A hard smack hit his head as he watched Keita walk away.
“Have you lost your marbles?!” Ken hissed.
“Maybe now I have,” Ryohei responded with a hiss. “What the hell was that for?”
Ken crossed his arms. “How can you possibly not remember??”
“What are you talking about?” the blonde snapped as Ken pulled him close and murmured into his ear. His eyes widened at what the goalie told him and when he was finished, Ryohei stared at him with wide eyes. “Are you…” he trailed off as images started tumbling back into his mind… Keita standing in the bathroom at the sink…
Him watching from behind…
“Oh my god,” He sat hard on the bench and held his head in his hands as flashes of the night entered his mind. He couldn’t remember all of it, which was the most frustrating part, but what he did remember was alarming, as well as interesting. Ryohei was surprised that he’d been so bold and almost wished he had the time to revel in ravaging the young man, but he realized that not remembering had obviously left Keita stunned and most probably hurt.
Dressing in a world record time, Ryohei ran after Keita only to be brushed off by the young man. He thought Keita needed time to think so he gave the young man space. Before practice started, he asked Ken if he had an opinion on it, and his friend agreed to help him stop Keita after practice so they could talk. Unfortunately, it never even happened. Keita had officially the worst practice he’d ever seen, and he’d seen a lot of things—people choking, people getting sick, but nothing was worse than this. The poor guy just couldn’t concentrate at all, so the coach pulled him out. And then it happened.
One of the guys kicked the ball at an odd angle and it sped straight for Keita as everyone yelled to watch out. He watched in alarm as the ball collided with Keita’s head, sending him down into a bench he’d been walking near. Ryohei never knew he could run as fast as he did when he ran for the young man, sliding on his knees the last five feet. Keita’s head had caught the bench at the worse angle, right in the corner. He pulled the young man’s hands away to see that he was bleeding and heard the coach yelling for a cell phone. Just then he noticed Keita’s eyes unfocused and started to roll up and so began talking to him, trying to get him to stay awake. Stay awake, he kept repeating; stay awake! At one point, he thought Keita might respond, but instead his body started to shake violently.
“He’s having a seizure!” Hayashi yelled as those around the young man held his body down to keep him from hurting himself. Ryohei did his best to hold Keita’s shoulder and arm down as he himself was shaking in fear. He’d never been so scared in his life, especially for someone else.
When the ambulance finally arrived, he’d demanded to go with Keita, and no one found reason to argue. The rest had been much a blur until the young man was finally taken away from him at the hospital. Ken arrived soon after with Ryohei’s things and change of clothes. One of the nurses had offered him a chance to take a shower in their break room and he took it gratefully. He swore it was the fastest shower he’d ever taken. After that, he and Ken had waited and told Keita’s family what happened when they arrived. The doctor appeared not long after that and informed everyone that Keita had a concussion and would most probably be fine. Ryohei was so relieved. They decided to keep Keita for observation in case anything happened and told them he was still unconscious, mostly because of the painkillers.
Ryohei sighed as he finally dismissed the memory. He’d volunteered to stay with Keita while his family finally left to get something to eat. Thinking back to the hospital food he’d scarfed down—which had been less than pleasant—he wondered when Ken was going to be back with his burger. Keita had been completely out this entire time, and it worried him. The doctor said it was the drugs, but it still worried the blonde. It led Ryohei back to his previous thought—this might be more than a crush.
He jerked in surprise when he felt the pressure on his hand increase, Keita’s hand squeezing his. Ryohei sat up and looked to the young man’s face to see him stirring and open his eyes with a dizzy look.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” he managed. Ryohei grabbed a metal bowl the nurse had instructed him to use if Keita was nauseous and held it up just in time as the young man leaned over the side of the bed and emptied his stomach into it. But it wasn’t over there. Keita’s body was wracked with dry heaves as he lay there, unable to control it. Ryohei tried his best to comfort the brunette as the spasms began to abate, running his fingers through the younger man’s hair in an effort to calm him. He bit his lip worried as Keita just lay there, shuddering as he breathed deeply, probably trying to get control over his body. He could just imagine how frightening it must feel.
“Water,” Keita finally croaked when the shudders were gone, and the blonde helped him sit up before pouring him a glass. He took a sip, swishing it in his mouth before spitting it in the bowl and then taking a few more swallows, leaving the glass half empty.
“Better?” Ryohei asked tentatively.
Keita tried to nod, stopping short as a look of pain crossed his face, a hand moving to his head. “Y-yes,” he stuttered through the pain. “W-what are you doing here?” he asked quietly as he lightly touched the bandage on his head. Ryohei took the moment to take the …stuff in the bowl to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet.
“I came with you in the ambulance,” he replied from the bathroom, wondering if Keita was still mad at him for forgetting.
“Really?” the brunette asked in surprise.
Ryohei nodded as he returned to the bedside. “Your family was here, but when you didn’t wake up, they decided to go eat and I told them I’d stay here.”
He watched as Keita’s eyes focused on his own hands. “You didn’t have to. Thank you.”
“That’s what friends do, right?” Ryohei asked to get a more careful nod from the young man, almost amused at his caution with his head.
“What happened?” he asked finally, looking to Ryohei. “I don’t remember much.”
The blonde toyed with the edge of Keita’s blanket as he related what happened from the time that he got hit with the ball until he woke up, leaving some of his emotions out of it. He didn’t want to look like too much of a pansy.
“Thanks for staying with me all that time.” Keita looked… dizzy and a little down.
“I feel like this is my fault,” he admitted.
“What? How??” the brunette protested. “You didn’t kick the ball!” He winced again and touched his head.
“Keita.”
Ryohei blushed and glanced away as the brunette stopped and stared at him. Maybe he shouldn’t have been so informal. It was certainly a switch to be the one blushing this time, but he didn’t care.
“I’m sorry I forgot.” He looked up to watch Keita look away and moved closer to carefully tilt his head back up. “I’m sorry.”
Keita tried to shake his head, only to look like he’d experienced a sharp pain. “No, i-it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let it get to me…” he trailed off, looking dizzy.
“It’s no one’s fault,” Ryohei said once Keita recovered. “It doesn’t change the fact that I’m sorry about forgetting. I still can’t remember much of what happened the other night.” He watched as the younger man blushed, causing him to smile. There was the Keita he knew.
“I guess I was just so shocked that you forgot…” he trailed off as they heard sounds outside the door and Ryohei recognized Keita’s sister’s voice.
“Your family must be back.” Thinking quickly, he leaned close to Keita and kissed his forehead. “It’s time for me to go.” He pulled back to see confusion and sadness mixed on the brunette’s face, so he ruffled the young man’s hair gently to earn a small smile. “Much better. We’ll talk later,” he said before turning to move to the door and peek out seeing Keita’s family chatting. For a moment he listened to Keita’s sister, Mai tell a story before she saw him peeking out and jumped in surprise.
“Ah, I didn’t see you there!” she said with a laugh.
“He’s awake,” Ryohei said as he pulled the door open and they poured into the room excitedly. Keita’s mother hugged him immediately and asked if he knew what year it was. Ryohei almost busted out laughing at that as he collected the few things he had with him. As he was about to leave, he stopped and waved, to which Keita acknowledged with a grateful smile and he left the room. The blonde commended himself for writing down the room’s phone number and decided he would call Keita later and ask how he was doing.
“Oh hey!” Ken said as he walked in the doors that Ryohei was approaching. “How come you’re leaving?”
“He woke up and his family is back,” the blonde smiled and took the bag of food Ken offered. “He should be fine.”
“Oh! Well, should I give you a ride home then?” the goalie turned to walk with Ryohei.
“I’d really appreciate it if you did,” he said sheepishly. “What did the coach have to say?”
“Well, not much since you probably would have fought anyone who wouldn’t have let you go with Keita,” Ken said nonchalantly as blood rushed to Ryohei’s face. “Ah, so he has rubbed off on you.”
“Shut up,” Ryohei replied and walked through the automating doors out into the twilight. “Where did you park?”
“What did you decide?”
Ryohei was caught off guard by the question, knowing immediately what Ken meant. “I…” He sighed, knowing his feelings had to be dealt with. “I don’t know.”
“You’re going to tell him right?” He looked expectant.
“Of course I am!” The blonde frowned. “What makes you think I wouldn’t?”
“Did you tell him about the bar?” Ken asked and crossed his arms.
“I…” Ryohei put his finger up, then stopped. “I have no idea.” He hadn’t realized he still had to tell Ryuichi about the entire story. He wondered how his lover would react.
Ken sighed dramatically. “Do you want me to come along?”
“No, no,” Ryohei shook his head. “Unless he starts beating me up, which wont happen any time soon, I think we’ll be fine.
“Well, don’t come crying to me when he refuses to give you sex for a week!” Ken ran as Ryohei started smacking him.
~***~
